"Hello and welcome to the public forum regarding the addition of a new set of bike racks next to the Sander's Park. I'm City Councilwoman Leslie Knope, formerly Deputy Director of the Parks Department. With me today is Parks employee April Ludgate. April, wave to the crowd."
"Nah."
"OK. And Director Ron Swanson." Ron nods his head. "We want to hear your opinions on this issue. Who'd like to start?"
A middle aged woman walks up to the microphone.
"Yes, hello. You see, I love my life of sitting on the couch and eating cheeseburgers." her weight reflects the statement. "I'm concerned that if we encourage a healthy lifestyle, then it will ruin everyone else's lifestyle."
To my annoyance, the crowd murmurs in agreement.
"Well, ma'am, your concerns are legitimate. But the healthier lifestyle is a better lifestyle to adopt if you want to stay alive longer."
The woman looks like I just shot her.
"Are you saying that my lifestyle is wrong?"
"No! Actually.... well... I'm just saying that it may not be the smartest or healthiest choice to-"
"Leslie, last I checked, she was an American." Ron whispers to me. "She can do whatever the hell she wants."
I frown, but stop.
"The bike racks won't affect you. We're just putting them in as an option for those who have chosen a different lifestyle than yours. "
"Then why did you just question her lifestyle?" says another larger man in the crowd.
"Because... I... It was my personal opinion that her lifestyle is wrong. I'm sorry for bringing my personal opinion into my work."
"I feel like I'm being attacked by the government for my choices!" yells the woman.
"Oh boy." I say, closing my eyes. "April, can you take over for a second?" I look over to see her on her phone. "April?" She looks up.
"What, oh... fine." She stands up, then quickly glances over at me. "What's this forum about again?"
"Nevermind." I say, standing up. "Look, ma'am, my best friend is a nurse. Sitting around all day and eating junk food puts you at a high risk for heart disease, diabetes, and many other health conditions. This is your choice, and the government will stay out of it."
"What does any of this have to do with the bike rack!" yells a man in the back.
"Sir, would you -"
"You don't seem very qualified for this, Ms. Knope!" yells the same man.
"What are you talking about? I'm very-!"
"Then why are we off topic and talking about how you think this woman's lifestyle is wrong?"
I have words in my throat, but they won't come out. The pause is too long.
"I'd like to -"
"We can recall her!" says a woman I hadn't seen there previously. Marcia Langman.
To my horror, the people start yelling in agreement. I look over at Ron and April. Ron is staring in shock at the crowd, and April hasn't noticed anything yet (she's still on her phone).
"Well. Marcia-"
"What has Leslie Knope ever done for you?" Marcia says, standing up. "Has your life been improved by anything she's done?"
"Has your life been improved by any City Councillor?" I yell desperately.
"Who will join me in stopping Ms. Knope's reign?" Marcia yells back to the crowd behind her. The crowd yells in agreement. Soon, a chant starts. Recall Leslie Knope, Recall Leslie Knope.
"That's enough!" Ron yells. But Marcia is already gathering people elsewhere to form a committee for her cause.
"Ron, what do I do?" I say, looking at the almost empty crowd.
"Fight." he says, emotionless.
YOU ARE READING
Yes (Parks and Recreation Fanfic)
FanfictionWhat if Leslie told her campaign managers that there was a scandal? Would telling the truth to them at Lil' Sebastian's memorial have made anything better? This story rewrites Seasons 4-6 with the concept of "What would've happened if Leslie said 'Y...
