Nothing In This World (Book 2)

Chapter 5

K A S H M E R E

Just to be sure I scheduled a doctors appointment which was yesterday and she told me what deep down I already knew, I was in fact pregnant. A little over a month and a half. The appointment was yesterday and as bad as I wanted to tell August I couldn't, at least not yet.

I needed someone to talk to, someone I could tell that wouldn't judge me and give me some much needed advice. That person was none other than Ms. Sheila. I decided to take her out so we could spend some time together and I could also tell her the news.

I've been trying to get the courage to tell her all day. I didn't know how though and if I didn't have the courage to tell her how was I going to tell August?

"What's wrong," she asked me and I looked up from my salad to look at her. She had a look of concern on her face and I knew I couldn't shrug her off or lie and say I'm fine like I've been doing August.

She sighed and shook her head from side to side, "What did that child of mine do now?"

I couldn't help but smile, "He didn't do anything."

"Then why have you been moping around all day then?"
Here was my perfect opportunity to tell her. I opened my mouth to tell her but not a word came out my mouth.

"I'm umm...well I took two tests and got the same results but I wanted to be absolutely sure so yesterday I went to the doctor and-"

"Your pregnant."

Her voice was calm and she didn't even look shocked or surprised.

All I could do was nod my head and look down in shame.

"About five weeks, I don't even know how it happened."

She laughed softly and I looked up at her, "Even I know how it happened."

"I thought I was careful, we were careful, I'm sorry," I apologized looking back down.

"Sorry for what?"

I looked back up at her, "This wasn't planned, obviously and were still both so young and I'm still in school."

"Not many people are ready for there first child, I know I wasn't. It's your decision on what you want to do."

I looked at her and for the first time since I've found out I was pregnant the thought of an abortion cross my mind. Even though I wasn't ready to be a mother I knew one thing for sure and I could never do something like that.

"I could never get an abortion, I'm just so scared. This wasn't supposed to happen like this."
"I'm not going to lie to you, now that you are pregnant your whole life is going to change. It's not just about you anymore or August but you guys will have to start making decisions with your child in mind. Your going to be scared, that's normal but your not alone."

Ms. Sheila was absolutely right, things were about to change but I never saw things happening like this or this fast.

I was smart, ambitious. I used to look at young pregnant girls and swore up and down that that would never be me. I was to smart, to focused, somehow I felt like I jinxed myself.

"You and August will have to talk and start making plans because my grandchild will be making his or her entrance into the world in a few months."

"I know," I nodded. I'm sure this next few months would fly by fast and whether I was ready for motherhood or not as of now I had no choice.

I knew August would be happy about this but I also couldn't help but ask myself would he even be here. I was used to him coming in late random nights, and leaving in the middle of the night for the sake of work. I was fine with that but now that there was a baby in the mix I needed more than that. I needed to make sure he was going to be here, physically.

"One of the things I admire about you the most is how strong you are. I know your scared but you'll get through it. Sometimes life throws you the unexpected but its nothing you cant handle. If you need advice, someone to talk to you know I'm always here for you. Once you recuperate, when your ready to go back to school grandma will be here to watch her grandchild, whenever you need."

I couldn't help but smile and for some reason my eyes started to get clouded by tears and I didn't know why. I was happy that she was being so supportive. This was the first person I was breaking the news to and for some reason I thought that she would be disappointed. If anyone was rooting for me to be on the right track and graduate on time it was Ms. Sheila.

"Thank you," I wiped my eyes. I was just looking for some reassurance and she gave me exactly what I needed.

"The crazy hormones are already kicking in," she smiled rubbing my hand, "Now I'm guessing you didn't tell him yet because if you did he whole east coast would of known by now?"

"No," I shook my head, "I'm just waiting for the right time."

"There is no right time, the sooner the better and don't stress out about it because if I'm sure of one thing it's how much August loves you and you having his first child is only going to make the love he has for you that much stronger."

Being around her made me think about how close we've become and how much I loved our relationship. It also made me think about my own relationship with my mom.. I haven't seen my mom in about six months and that was her birthday. I showed up with a gift and with the hopes of her opening the door but she wouldn't even open the door for me. I knew she was home and I knew she knew I was at the door.

That was the last time and I promised myself I wouldn't torture myself any more. If she loved me then she would reach out to me when she was ready.

Now that I was pregnant I felt like she definitely didn't want to have anything to do with me. This was what she predicted. That I would get pregnant and then my life would be ruined. I was pregnant yes but my life was going to be far from ruined.

"Stop that pouting child and smile," she smile, "Your having a baby and eat up. Your eating for two now."

I smiled knowing that this was only the beginning, she would find every excuse to feed me.

"Thank you," I thanked her, "For everything."

"Of course," she smiled and rubbed my hand, "Your like a daughter to me Kashmere, I mean that."

His mom was amazing and made me think maybe things wouldn't be so bad.