Let Love Win

Chapter 25 - Hadley

I really find myself bored around the orphanage, especially not on weekends. But since it was only the middle of February and the kids had a long weekend off from school, Monty decided she was going to fly them up to Buffalo for a winter trip. There was apparently still had a good amount of snow n the ground and she wanted to them to try tobogganing this year, so she pulled the boys out of school early on the Thursday and took the first flight out of here. It was now Sunday and they weren't expected back until late tomorrow night.

So yes, for the first time in what felt like years, I was actually dreading the time to myself. I couldn't call Mel because I knew that she was going out with Brad tonight. On top of that, we'd just gone out to the bar last night and I could tell from the call that I got this morning that she was loathing me for the amount of alcohol that I'd "let" her drink last night. Though I tried to argue that it was in no way my fault that she had a hangover that she couldn't bounce back from, she wasn't having any of it and continued to blame me that she wasn't able to find something to wear on her date tonight.

I considered calling Zeek and telling to come and entertain me, but Mel being a drunk spoil sport told me that I should take some time away from him. She said that all we ever did was have sex. In my drunken stupor, I agreed with her and proceeded to call him and tell him that I never wanted to have sex with him again. I only hoped that he could tell that I wasn't in my right mind when I said it because there was no way I was giving up sex with Zeek anytime soon. It was just so good.

However, as I thought about it as a hung-over young adult high on coffee, I realized that in a way Mel was right. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't going to reject every opportunity that I had with him, but at the same time, I wasn't going to let every little make out session turn into some steamy, passionate affair. We needed to have a chance to just talk about stuff as well, and not just in between rounds of sex. There were still things that I needed to know about him, and there sure as hell was a lot of shit that I had to tell him. I was terrified of what he would think and how he would react. But then again, if this relationship was going to last beyond the bedroom, then I had to grow a pair of lady balls and tell him soon.

One of those things was that I was for sure falling for him. Hard. Christmas with the boys and Monty was one of the best Christmases that I'd ever had in my life. I don't know when the last time any of the boys had an older male figure in their company—let alone ever for the younger ones—and I could tell that they enjoyed having him there just as much as I did. He got them all a big mat that displayed a small town with street and houses and store for their HotWheels cars, and each of them a new car to play on it with. After setting it up for them, they stayed there on the floor for hours on end..

But I think New Year's was really the time when I felt it hit my that I could possibly be in the best relationship I'd ever had in my life. Just being able to spend the time with him was...nice. It wasn't forced like it had been before. It wasn't awkward like most couples would find it in the first years. It was like we'd done it many times before. And we definitely rang in the New Year in the best of ways. But then we went out for breakfast the next morning and I found myself looking at him more than I usually did, as if something about him had changed. Or something about me. Who knows. But I did know that there was something more than there was the night before.

I decided the day after that I was going to have to find some kind of time to tell him what and how I was feeling. Mel had already said all the right words to Brad and she couldn't stop talking about it. her relationship with Brad was what I wanted my relationship with Zeek to be like, where every time we saw each other, anyone could tell. But there was also a lot more to it than just that, especially with me. There were so many things that happened in my past that lingered in the back of my mind telling me that what I was feeling was just an illusion. For a while, I believed it. And then it wasn't just when I was around him. I warmed up inside every time I heard or spoke his name. Then it happened every time I thought of him.