Fat & Healthy ( How I Survived Shaming and Learned To Love My Body Again)

The Big D word....Diet

What is the big D word that makes me break out in a cold sweat? Diet. I still am not fond of the word but it means something different to me now than what it did on that day at the doctor's office when I was told as a young ,naive, twenty year old girl, that I was diabetic and that If I wanted to live to be twenty one I was going to have to go on a (gasp) diet plan.

I went home and prayed for guidance on which diet to choose. There was so many. I tried so many. There was the cabbage soup one, no wonder people lose weight eating this broth of warm tastelessness, It was exactly what I pictured a diet to be, torture! If this diet worked for you and it floated your boat, good for you. All that matters is you liked it but me I would rather not eat anything at all than eat that soup! I started out with a heaping bowl of it and with each meal I put in less and less. So that did not work for me. I stayed on it for three days and was starting to get dizzy, confused and very cranky. Then there was the low carb diet, well that one was not that hard for me but I actually gained weight on it. So I became a vegetarian next, this was the turning point of my getting healthy. This was the best diet plan for me in feeling healthy although I did not get much results from losing weight I did lose some but I was more pleased with the way I felt. My sugar went down from the 200's to normal ranges very fast. I went from being on 3 diabetic pills to only taking one and I actually had an excuse to tell my family no I am not eating meat anymore. My family are big meat eaters and it was at every meal. I always felt a twinge of guilt eating animals and It made me happy beyond belief to finally feel like I had a right to say no to the hamburgers, chicken nuggets, turkey at thanksgiving and so on.

Becoming a vegetarian does not mean you will lose weight though. It just means you don't eat animal flesh anymore. Chocolate, Bread, Pasta, Cheese Pizza, Cream Cheese, Milk, Peanut Butter, and lots of other high calorie foods are Vegetarian acceptable and I still occasionally eat them all. I am quite positive I will never become a vegan, my love for diary is too great.

I bought a scale and just from becoming a vegetarian I went from two hundred and sixty eight pounds to two hundred and forty pounds. However then it stopped, I stayed there for a good amount of time weighing two hundred and forty pounds.

When I got on the scale and seen I went from two hundred and forty pounds even to two hundred and forty three pounds in one week I PANICKED! When I had started losing weight for the first time in my life I was proud of myself. I was more confident, I was happier than ever before. I had to find a way to see the number get smaller and smaller again somehow. This was when I realized two things, I no longer was losing weight for the other people, I was losing it for me and I was becoming Obsessed. More about Obsession and Addiction, two very different things in the next chapter coming soon.

*Smile Time. My mom is a very smart woman and it's hard to pull one over on her and fool her but when I seen this joke a couple months ago it worked and she fell for it.*

Funny Joke-

Friend says- "Hey, somebody said you sounded like an owl." Other Friend Reply's "Who?"