Marian's POV
Most of the time I was happy with my solitary state. But there are times when feelings of confusion and sadness wash over me when I least expect it. Sometimes its when I'm lying in bed at night, walking out of a restaurant by myself, when I'm with my friends and all they talk about is how happy they are with the love of their lives, or when I'm in the flowershop and a couple comes in. It feels as though there's always this... gaping gap in my chest. I try to fill that gap with things that I love, hoping they'd love me back. But who was I kidding? Things don't love back.
At the end of the day, I still wait for the moment I will walk out of restaurants holding someone else's hand, the day I will fall asleep in someone's arms, the day I'd cling onto someone's body knowing I'd never want to let go. The sensation was confusing, it was like a melting pot of hopeless desire.
I furiously bit my bottom lip habang gigil na gigil sa inaarrange kong bouquet ng bulaklak para sa isang wedding. The bride was five years younger than me and she was already going to get married? Bakit ako, wala pa rin boyfriend? My first bodyshot came from an asshole, my first kiss came from an asshole, the first man I'd ever slept with (literally) was an asshole... almost all my firsts came from an asshole! Why couldn't I find a nice, decent man like this bride-to-be? This was so not fair.
"Ma'am, gusto niyo ako na mag-arrange ng bulaklak?" Flor timidly asked.
Napakunot ang noo ko at tumingala ako sa kanya. "I can do this myself. Bumalik ka na sa pwesto mo."
"Si sir Seth po nasa telepono. Hinahanap ka." Sabi niya.
"Sabihin mo busy ako." Inis na sabi ko bago ko binaling ang atensyon ko pabalik sa bouquet. She nodded and went back to the cash register. Wala pang isang minuto ay bumalik ulit si Flor.
"Goddammit palagi ka na lang busy." Sabi ni Flor at agad nag-taas ang tingin ko sa kanya.
"Ano'ng sabi mo, Flor?" I said, quite shocked.
"Sabi ni sir Seth." Sabi niya.
"Sabihin mo sa kanya kailangan ko maghanap-buhay. May totoo akong trabaho. Sabihin mo pasensya na, I don't make a living out of partying and sleeping around." I huffed.
"Ma'am naman..." Flor whined.
"O, bakit?"
"Huwag naman mahabang english. Di ko kaya. Sasabihin ko na lang busy ka talaga."
"Bahala ka." I sighed.
Hindi ako mapakali habang nag-aayos ng mga bulaklak nang hindi na bumalik si Flor. I turned my head and saw her sitting behind the cash register, filing her nails.
"Flor." Tawag ko sa kanya at agad naman siyang lumingon.
"Po?"
"Ano'ng sabi?" I asked.
"Binagsakan po ako ng telepono." Sagot niya.
Asshole talaga. I thought and tried to focus on the flowers for the wedding. But even when I try to push the thought of him out of my mind, it kept coming back like a horrible song you can't get out of your mind. Ano na kayang ginagawa niya ngayon? May kasama kaya siya ngayon? Gaano na kaya kakalat ang condo niya? Sa susunod talaga, magdadala na ako ng isang timbang holy water. Yun na ang ipanglalampaso ko sa bahay niya ng matanggal naman ang bahid ng kahalayan doon.
Seth's POV
Damn it! I angrily threw the phone I was holding on the table in front of me. Marian hadn't been here for eight days. Eight whole days and my place was starting to smell like the sweaty armpit of Satan. There were dirthy clothes just lying around, piles and piles of unwashed dishes filled the whole kitchen sink, empty beer cans and a hell lot of mess. I couldn't clean a room to save my life. Since I'm an only child, I had always been spoiled by my parents. There's always someone cleaning after me. I could never do it myself.
