Marian's POV
It took everything I had not to let my tears fall in front of him. But as soon as the door closed behind me, my mask of strength came crashing down. My shoulders collapsed as though the weight of the world fell on me. Awang-awa ako sa sarili ko. Tinaboy niya lang ako na parang wala kaming pinagsamahan. Na parang kailan lang hindi niya ako hinalikan, hindi kami nagtabi sa iisang kama, hindi siya nakatulog habang yakap ako... How could he easily get rid of me like that?
Hindi ko naman ineexpect na tanggapin o akuin niya ang bata. I knew Seth was allergic to commitment of any sort. But to get rid of me like that? To look at me like I was the most disgusting human being on the planet?
My feet brought me to church. My mother once told me that churches were a place for broken people who wants to be whole again. I felt broken, crushed, smashed, in my heart, in my soul, everywhere.
I prayed. Katulad nga ng sabi ng mama ko, if something gets too hard to stand, kneel. I thanked Him for this life inside my womb and asked for strength.
Pagkatapos kong magdasal nakita kong may ilaw ang ibabaw ng confessional booth. I went in and knelt down. "Bless me father for I have sinned." My voice quivered as tears welled up my eyes. "Father, ninakaw ko po ang semilya ng kaibigan ko."
"Ano?!" He asked, losing the tranquility in his voice.
"N-ninakaw ko po ang semilya ng kaibigan ko at pinasok ko po sa akin. Tapos po nagpregnancy test ako, positive po ang lumabas." I sobbed. "Buntis po ako, father, pero wala siyang alam na siya ang ama. Nagsinungaling ako sa kanya, sabi ko nakipag-one nightstand ako."
It took him awhile to speak again. I could see from the mesh screen that was seperating us that he was shocked and was struggling to think of something to say. "Anak, bakit mo naman ginawa iyon?"
"Natatakot po kasi akong tumanda mag-isa. Gusto ko lang naman maging masaya."
"Masaya ka ba ngayon?"
I answered him with a louder sob. Masaya ako sa blessing na ibinigay sa akin pero hindi ako masaya sa mga nangyayari ngayon.
"Wala akong nakilalang tao na hindi ginustong maging masaya. Akala mo kapag nakuha mo na ang isang bagay, kapag nagawa mo 'to, kapag narating mo 'yan... magiging masaya ka na. This is the compulsiveness that keeps us going but it's also the way to spiritual exhaustion. Katulad ng ibang mga emosyon, katulad ng lungkot, takot, galit, panandalian lang yan. Happiness is not a destination. Minsan sa kagustuhan natin na maging masaya, we do the wrong things."
"Hindi ko na naman po maibabalik ang ginawa ko and I don't think I want to, I want this child badly. Am I bad person, father?"
"Hindi, anak. Tao ka lang."
Seth's POV
Even when the alcohol started getting to my head and blured all my thoughts together, her face was still as clear as the day. No matter how much I drown myself in alcohol, memories of her stayed afloat. I was starting to feel something for her and then I found out she was pregnant. I hadn't fully taken in what I was feeling for her tapos malalaman kong buntis siya sa ibang lalaki.
I felt like lead on and just absolutely stupid. All those kisses, does it even mean something to her? Ginawa niya din ba iyon sa lalaking naka-one night stand niya? I had placed her on a pedestal, seperating her from the other girls I'd been with. I thought Marian was different but I was wrong...
"Tama na 'yan." Wayne took the glass of whiskey I had in my hand. It was guy's night out tonight and we were at Wayne's lounge bar. The guys were sitting on a table, talking about their families and their children, basically something I couldn't relate to.
