Chapter 1

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It's happening again.

The air becomes thick and I can't breathe. Small strangled gasps escape me and the world spins. I'm suddenly aware of how fast my heart is beating. I reach my hand out to grasp whatever it lands on. Unfortunately, I'm already on the floor. My head lightens and the pain in my chest doubles. My stomach knots.

Am I having a heart attack? Am I going crazy? Am I dying?

My hand over my heart, I can feel its pulse slowing. The unstable world my panic attack created is finally reaching an end. My wavering breaths become more natural but I find that my fingers are still shaking slightly.

My legs feel like jelly and I don't have the strength to stand up yet. But eventually I find it because the toilet stall smells and the puddle to my right certainly isn't appetizing.

I unlock the latch and slowly make my way back to my seat on the isle. The loudspeaker announces that the plane is descending and we are landing soon. I buckle my seat belt as loosely as possible so that my anxiety doesn't return.

My mum glances over at me from across the aisle. I don't think she would have been proud by the way I handled it. She tells me to take deep breaths and take control. She doesn't realise that I have no control.

I sit in my seat uncomfortably, stress still sitting in the pit of my stomach. Mum reaches for me through the isle but a flight attendant walks through, separating us. All I want is my mum. No matter how childish that sounds, my mum is my safe person.

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