BURN •jb•

22~Moving On

My eyes fix on Justin for the rest of the walk towards the black escalade, burning holes into the side of his slightly pale, worried looking face. As soon as the door closes and I'm comfortable in my seat I let my mind start racing. There's still flashes from outside but the windows are tinted so dark they can't see a thing. At least that's what I hope.

If they could see us the press would have a field day with my stroppy face right now.

"I'd say it was bullshit apart from the way you looked at me proved that it's not." I grumble running a hand across my head whilst rolling my eyes.

Justin clears his throat as the car starts to move or more like crawl along the road, pushing its way through the small sea of people blocking our way. The slaps and bangs against the fragile windows were slightly terrifying but I tried my best to focus on the situation in hand. Justin pressed a single button and a partition began to close between the front seats of the car and ours.

"Tell me what happened." My throat felt a little dry, as though knowing I'm not going to like what's about to be said.

"It was the night I proposed." He mumbled scratching his head awkwardly, he's nervous. "After you left I met a couple of old friends and we went out to a couple of clubs." Justin shrugged as I eyed him. "I was drunk and mad and I didn't think."

"You never do." I interject rolling my eyes. It always seems to be the same as soon as Justin and alcohol are mixed together.

"I said some stuff; dumb stuff that should never have been said especially since you told me not to." Justin mumbled sighing quietly as I glared at him. It didn't stop him saying stuff though, did it? I'm quiet but I don't pull my hand away when Justin reaches for it. He links our fingers together looking nervous as I tap my toe against the ground.

"What exactly did you....say?" I ask cautiously, my voice is quiet and I can't look Justin in the eye but the small shapes he draws against the side of my hand are somewhat soothing.

"I..." He pauses and looks as if he's fighting an internal battle. He knows I could find out if I really want to, there'll probably be endless articles on what was said or done online, but I want to hear it from him, not some thirty year old who sits behind a computer stalking other people's lives, him - Justin. "I said I didn't understand you. That you're pregnant and I love you but sometimes I wonder if you love me too." Justin pauses as though to grasp my response to his words but I don't give him one, instead just remained looking anywhere but Justin or the windows which still had a few photographers following us. "I said you wouldn't marry me and just complete bullshit that doesn't mean anything because I was mad and hurt."

He says quietly as my stomach tenses. I try not to get angry at his words and instead try to think about how Justin must have felt. He was crushed when I said no, it was the right decision but I could see the sadness literally explode in his eyes. It made my heart ache painfully.

"I said that I thought the baby wouldn't be mine, it'll be his." He says gritting his teeth as I feel a small pang of hurt strike in my heart. That one hurt. I chew on my bottom lip to stop it from wobbling, I won't cry, I will not cry. I chant in my head feeling my throat become thick with the urge to just explode in a little ball of tears.

Damn hormones. I feel ridiculous.

"Is that it?" I ask not liking the way my voice cracked but Justin shook his head cautiously. "What else?" I asked looking to him as he took a sharp intake of breath.

"You're upset, you don't need this right now." He says softly turning to me as I shake my head.

"Justin I'm not finding out from some E! News presenter, get a grip and tell me!" I snap huffing a small breath as Justin opened his mouth to speak.