Chapter 25: Prayers

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JUSTIN'S P.O.V

My eyes opened in the morning and I quickly shut them, blinded from the amount of light in the room. 'Where am I?' I wondered to myself. 'Did somebody take me home?' I opened my eyes again and looked around, this wasn't my house. But this room is familiar. My head was pounding and I felt nauseous.  I sat up and looked around. Then I realized it was Kelly's house. My heart started pounding and I tried to remember the night before. I hoped that I didn't try and have sex with her or do anything to offend her. The last thing I remember is calling over a stripper to give me a lap dance my 50th of the night. This was all a mistake. I didn't want Kelly to see me like this.

I was going to be sick. I got up fast and ran towards the bathroom and threw up everything. I searched her medicine cabinet for Advil or something and I grabbed an aspirin. I turned around to leave the bathroom and Kelly was standing in the hall staring at me with her arms crossed. She looked angry.

"I'm sorry.." I said.

"Put this on." She said and threw an old shirt of mine at me. "After you take a shower." She started to walk away.

"What happened last night?" I asked.

"The bartender had to fucking call me and tell me to come pick you up." She said.

"Oh shit.." I said.

"And then you screamed at me most of the car ride home about how its my fault that you were there." She said making coffee.

"That's not true.." I said shaking my head.

"Yes it is.." She said looking down, she was hurting.

"I make my own decisions.. Its my fault. None of this is yours." I said owning up to my mistakes.

"You wouldn't have made those mistakes if I didn't leave you here, vulnerable." She said turning around.

"I got over it." I lied.

"No you didn't. The bartender explained to me that you wouldn't shut up about me to the staff at the club."

"Listen, I'm doing exactly what you wanted me to do. I'm out of your life now. Sorry about this. I'll be leaving." I said becoming a little angry.

"But you aren't out of my life!" She said frustrated.

"What do you mean?"

"You have been so busy getting high and feeling bad for yourself that I think you forgot about how this all effected me! I left here to go on tour with you leaving my own sister to get me back and I cried for days upon days trying to be happy. Trying to enjoy what little time I have left on this tour. And eventually I found a way to manage my pain but not once did you leave my mind. But seeing you like this makes me angry at myself that I still love you!" She said frustrated. "I love.. you." She repeated slowly.

"I can fix myself." I said.

"Can you? Because every time I leave you, you act up." She said.

"I know. But I still love you too and If you want me to fix myself I will." I said.

"But, Justin don't you see? We just keep going in circles. Within a couple of months you will do something that I don't like and we will break up. You'll go to clubs and do all these drugs and then come back to me beginning for another chance." She said. She was right.

"I know. But, I cant help it because I really don't want to be with anybody else but you." I said honestly.

"Then why did you date Kendall?" She asked.

"I wanted to make you jealous.." I said becoming brutally honest.

"By dating my sister? I mean come on Justin.." She said angrily.

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