The Promises He Made

^Chapter 42^

~Chanelle's P.O.V~

"Well hello Chanelle." My mother responded with a smile on her face.

"What are you doing here?" I ask out of annoyance.

"Well I thought I could surprise you and the twins but since they're not here and Deandre refuses to tell me where they are I decided I could stick around for awhile. And I thought maybe I could help you prepare for the big barbecue Deandre was telling me about." She smiles as she sits on my bed. I glared at Deandre and he just shrugged.

"No thanks. Me and Tamia gon be fine." I state ruder than I intended.

"Chanelle can I talk to you in the hallway." Deandre asks walking towards me. Before I could tell him anything he yanked my arm and dragged me into the hallway closing the door behind us.

"Why you being so rude to yo moms?" He asks as if he didn't know.

"Deandre that is not my mom. That's a mother of five year old Chanelle. And Iont know if you noticed but I am grown. I'm not a baby no more and I don't need her coming over here to treat me like one." I state.

"Come on now. You know all moms see they kids as they babies. No matter their age. Especially the girls. You gon say Justice is still yo baby girl when she's your age." He points out.

"Damn right. Cuz she will be... Jaheem too. That's the difference between us. I'm not gonna abandon Jaheem or Justice... Like she did wit me, Dayvon, Chanay, and Da'kin. She likes to play mommy now that we all grown up. But I AM mommy to my kids and will be until the day I die. But she still in her physical being and I barley know a damn thing about her and vice versa!" I state loudly. Deandre made an attempt to shush me but it ain't matter. My mama know what's up.

My bedroom door opened and my mom stepped in between Deandre and I. I knew her ass was listening but that don't mean I care. She never cared when I was listening to her up all night scattering papers or on the phone with her boss for hours and hours while Chanay had the flu and I was takin care of her. Chanté Brooke's ain't nun but a fraud tryna play mommy now that all her babies is grown.

"Deandre can I talk to Chanelle alone for a minute." She asks politely without taking her eyes off of me.

"Yeah. No doubt. " He stated without taking his eyes off me. He brushed my shoulder roughly as he past me making me lose my balance before he proceeded down the stairs. I scoffed and rolled my eyes as I gained my balance again.

Ass hole.

"I heard what you said Chanelle." My mother stated once Deandre was out of ear shot.

"And?" I state uncaringly.

"And... I know you're upset with me for basically missing out on you guys childhood. But baby you have to put yourself in my shoes. I was young when I got pregnant with Dayvon. Not long after I got pregnant and I had Da'kin. Then I had you. Then Chanay. I had four kids by the time I was only 24. Tryna provided for yall each and everyday wasn't easy. At all! And I was alone. No man. No friends. No nothin. All I had was yo aunt Angelisa. Besides her I had nothin for support. Do you know how hard that was for me?" She asks while playing the victim card.

I scoff at her.

"Yeah! I do. Because you decided to do the exact same thing to me! When I first got pregnant and everybody found out all I had was Tamia. So yeah I know how hard that shit is!" I state angrily.

Like mother like daughter, I guess.

She gasped slightly as she began to think for a while. She looked at me as she let her thoughts rumble through her mind for a minute.

"Oh my god, Chanelle... I didn't even realiz-" She started but I cut her off.

"Yeah I know you didn't because you were too busy still trying to broadcast your own sad story that nobody ever cared for!...... Just like you always do." I state looking in her eyes as mine began to swell with tears.

"All I had from the beginning of my pregnancy was Tamia. And I got Deandre now. But still... They all the support I got!! And that's because of you. You did that to me! Just cause you had twice as many kids as I do doesn't mean anything! You knew what type of job this is. Raising babies while being a baby! You know how hard and difficult it is!!! But yet you still put me in this damn situation!!! By not caring about me enough to tell me it was gonna get better! And that no matter what happens you'd be there for me! You told me I was a mistake! And when I was in the middle of birth and Dr. Bowmen said something was wrong you said it'd be a blessing if God took my baby away! Do you know how that made me feel?!! No. Because you don't even care for us... I already knew I didn't deserve a baby that I wouldn't be able to take care of. But I did it anyway. Because I took you as an example and refused to be you. YOU MADE ME GO THROUGH ALL OF THAT WHILE I WAS STILL A CHILD, CHANTÈ......How is that fair?!!!!!!!" I yell.

She stood there quietly as tears slowly made their way down her cheeks.

"Mama you'ont get to play the victim. And neither do I. Do you think I wanted to get pregnant at 17?!! And have my children's father bail on me because he let the money and fame go to his head?! No!!! But did I manage to do it? Yes... And I didn't have to abounded my kids to do so. Like you did to us. I stay by my children's side no matter what. And they do the same for me. Whether they know it or not. They do. They all I got in the world at the end of the day. And I'll be damned if I do what you did to us, to them. I AM NOT YOU!!!!" I yelled finally letting the many emotions that were locked inside me find their way out. 

My face was soaked with tears that I didn't even realize I'd let fall and my hands were shaking. My lips quivered as I wiped the tears from my face. My whole face was red since it is everytime I cry. I tried to calm myself down a little as my mother stood with a guilty look on her face knowing everything that'd just left my lips was true.

"Chanelle I know you not me. And Im grateful for that. I'm grateful that I had a successful brilliant daughter who's a mother of my two beautiful grandchildren. And finds a way to make her own. Despite the fact she has a man who could do things for her, she stays string and does everything for herself. I'm glad you were able to do what I wasn't...... But baby if you give me another chance I swear I will be the best mother I can be. I'll be the best grandmother to the twins. I'll babysit. I'll clean your house. If you and Deandre need some time alone I'll take the kids. Whatever you want Chanelle...... J-Just please." She begged sincerely.

I searched her face for a few minutes debating whether or not I'd let her back into my life. Flashbacks went through my mind as I remembered almost every meal we had without her. And of the times Dayvon and I were taking care of Chanay and Da'kin. Even though Da'kin is older than me, I had to be the mother figure. And looking back, I was. It went by in a flash. Then I thought about what Deandre said. What if this was me and Justice? I snapped back into reality and looked at my mother who was desperately waiting for my answer.

"I missed you, ma." I stated tearing up again. She let out a breath of relief as she took me into her arms and began to cry.

"Oh Nelle I missed you too!" She stated hugging me as tight as ever.