Chapter 17: Kim’s POV
I sat myself down on the edge of Cheryl’s bed, deep in thought. Suddenly the door opened and Cheryl reappeared, she smiled slightly and nervously fiddled with her hands before sitting down beside me. I waited for Nicola and Nadine to leave the room before looking up at Cheryl. I looked into her eyes before opening my mouth to speak, ‘why didn’t you tell me chez’ I whispered before looking down again. ‘why couldn’t you talk to me and open up, whats a relationship without honesty and trust and you couldn’t even confide in me about something like that? I would have stuck by you, I would have helped’ I mumbled still my head bowed down towards the floor.
‘I know, Im sorry, I just didn’t want help back then, ive always struggled tralking about my problems babe, you know that. Nadine didn’t even know how bad it was until I broke down after a binge drinking session, its not as if shes known the whole time and I just didn’t tell you’ Cheryl said. I looked up at her, ‘that’s not the point tho Chez! We were in a relationship, you should have been able to trust me enough to be able to confide in me’ I cried as tears started streaming down my cheeks. ‘Oh Kimba’ Chez cried before wrapping her arms around my shivering frame.
I was hurt more than anything, hurt that she didn’t tell me, hurt that she felt she couldn’t confide in me with something that big. ‘Kim’ cheryl whispered, I nodded in order to get her to continue, ‘Im sorry about the press issue, I just felt that they contributed to my depression last time and’ she was crying by this point, ‘sshhh Chez, I know, I get it now, you don’t have to explain, we can wait til your ready’ I interupted before wrapping my arms around her petite body. She collapsed into me as we settled back onto the bed and I ran my fingers through her hair slowly. Eventually Cheryls breathing softened and it was obvious that she had succumbed to dreamland.
Cheryl’s POV
I awoke to the sun shining through the gap in the curtains; I glanced around me noticing I was alone in bed. I sighed and leant up on my elbows, I smiled as Kim entered the room in a gorgeous maxi dress with some sunglasses on her head. She looked stunning and I just couldn’t believe she was back in my life and wanted me again. ‘Morning babe, want some breakfast?’ she asked with a smile, ‘no thanks, I’m not really hungry’ I mumbled whilst biting my lip. I saw the look Kim was going to give me before she even gave it to me, the one that says I will get you to eat something; I know what you can be like with your food. I mean, give me a break; I don’t want you adding an eating problem to the list of things that’s wrong with me. Plus, I don’t have one anyways.
I just turned away from her and laid myself back down on the bed sighing heavily. Kim sighed and walked over to sit next to me, taking my fingers in hers and entwining our hands together. I could feel the tears falling already but I didn’t even know why I was crying anymore. All I knew was that Kim was still there, she was still stroking my hair and she was still whispering calming words into my ear. I hadnt scared her off again just yet but how long would it be before she realised that she couldn’t handle me and my depression and needed a normal girlfriend. I hated myself for thinking it but you can’t help these thoughts sometime, can you? I listened as I felt her breath against my ear and her calming words soothing me: ‘we will beat this Chez, We will beat it together’. How can you be so optimistic? I mean whats going to change now? I mean, Ive been in this situation for over 10 years already. As if reading my thoughts, Kim turned towards me, kissed me on the forehead and whispered ‘I know I havnt been there for the past 10 years but I am here now and we will beat this together, I promise you’. I mean, don’t keep promises you can’t keep Kimba.
Nadine’s POV
I was currently sitting at the kitchen table drinking my coffee, waiting for Cheryl to join me. I had managed to book her a doctor’s appointment that morning. Sometimes being Cheryl Tweedy does count for something.Cheryl finally made an appearance with her hand entwined tightly with Kims. I smiled at them, I was actually really pleased for them and maybe having Kimba back in her life may actually help. I grabbed my bag and followed them out the front door.
Kim’s POV
I sat in the waiting room at the doctors surgey, Nadine sat to my left and Cheryl sat to my right and was curled up as much as possible into my side. If she was any closer she would have been on my lap. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and pulled her in tight. I could tell she was nervous and probably scared but she knew she had to do this and I was proud of her. I was proud that she had actually opened up to me, proud that she had agreed to see a doctor, proud that she had finally agreed to talk to someone and seek the help she needs. I’m not stupid, I am perfectly aware that part of the reason for her wanting to seek help is being with me again because part of her is still scared that she is going to wreck what we have again but I’m not going to let that happen this time because I am here for her and I am going to protect and love her til the ends of the earth. That’s love for you.
Finally I hear the doctor’s voice, ‘Cheryl Tweedy’. I help Cheryl up and keep hold of her hand as we follow the doctor down the corridor with Nadine following. We finally get lead into a room and I take a seat in the chair. I keep hold of Cheryl in order to makesure she is ok whilst the doctor starts his line of questioning. I listen to the accounts of events on various previous occasions as told from Cheryl and Nadine and have to try extremely hard to stop myself from welling up at what Chez has been through. I smile at her to encourage her as she opens up to the doctor.
The doctor eventually looks up from his notes and turns to face Cheryl, ‘Right so from what you have told me, it seems to me that you have Clinical Depression, its nothing to seriously worried about, 15% of people get it in their lifetime and it is treatable with various different anti-depressents but I would suggest that maybe you see a therapist weekly so you can open up about stuff and also maybe keep a diary so you can write your feelings down, Is that ok?’. I watched as Cheryl nodded her head slightly and continued to look down at her feet. I looked towards the doctor whilst squeezing her hand; ‘So doctor, will she be prescribed anti-depressents’ I queried. ‘Yes, here you go’ He smiled before handing the prescription over.
