Chapter 21: Kim’s POV
I sat on the sofa next to Nicola in her lounge currently staring at the TV. I could feel Nic’s eyes on me but I didn’t want to talk about it right now so I was ignoring her. To be honest I was happy that me and Cheryl were back on track and I was glad that she told me but I couldn’t see myself making up with nadine anytime soon, not at the moment anyways. ‘So whats wrong?’ Nicola asked the expected question. I glanced towards her and rolled my eyes; ‘Nothing’ was my quick reply. Now it was Nicola’s turn to roll her eyes, ‘Kim, I can read you like a book, I know you, I can tell when you’re lieing to me’ She responded.
I looked at her before taking a deep breath, ‘Chez slept with Nadine’ I sighed. ‘What? When?’ Nicola questioned with a shocked look on her face, ‘When they were in LA, they were drunk, it only happened the once, it was a mistake but it still hurts you know?’ I replied. Nic smiled sadly before responding; ‘I know babe but I know for a fact that you have nothing to worry about, it will never happen again and would never lead to more! Cheryl loves you too much to allow it to happen and Nadine just wouldn’t go there, you know that! Well deep down, you know that’.
I smiled, ‘Thanks, yeah I do. I just think it’s probably going to just take a while to get mine and Nadine’s friendship back on track’. Nicola smiled at me before placing her hand on my thigh, ‘Promise me you’ll try though right’ Nicola smiled back. ‘I promise’ I replied.
Cheryl’s POV
I sat therejust watching a film on the TV when my phone started ringing, I appologised to Nadz before looking at the caller ID and answering; ‘Hey Sarah’ I said in order to let Nadine know who who it was, ‘What… You are kidding me? I didn’t even know there were any paps about’ I continued. ‘Oh for f***s Sake, whyd they have to know everything’ I complained. ‘Oh this is just typical’ I ranted. ‘Ok just drop them over and il have a look, thanks babe’ I finished before hanging up.
I turned to Nadz who was looking at me expectently, I just sighed and ran my hands through my hair, ‘Press have printed a story about mine and Kimbas reunion! They have protos of our lunch with Kara and our date’ I stated. ‘I just wish theyd leave us alone, its none of their bleedin business and what do they know about our f***ing relationship?’ I continued my rant. ‘It is way too early for us to be going public’ I cried. Finally allowing Nadine to talk, ‘babe its not really too early is it? You were together for 10 years, they already know about your sexuality and your previous relationship so don’t worry’ Nadz squeezed my hand to calm myself down. I could feel myself on the verge of another pani attack, I was hyperventilating and freaking out big time.
Nadine who had seen me like this plenty of times through the past 10 years due to my depression had hold of both of my hands trying desperately to calm me down. ‘Hey hey hey’ Nadz spoke soothingly, ‘breath babe, take deep breaths, sing with me babe, ok’ she smiled before starting to sing;
‘Oh why you look so sad, tears are in your eyes, come on and come to me now, don’t be ashamed to cry, let me see you through, cause ive seen the darkside too. When the night falls on you, you don’t know what to do, nothing you confess could make me love you less’ She sang as I took deep breaths to try and slow my breathing and calm myself down. Today wasn’t so bad considering normally I would end up screaming and throwing things. I completely messed my living room once. Its not just the people around me that are terrified but I terrifie myself.
Eventually I start to join in between my tears; ‘I’ll stand by you, I’ll stand by you, Won’t let nobody hurt you, I’ll stand by you.So if you’re mad, get mad, don’t hold it all inside, come on and talk to me now. Hey? What you got to hide, I get angry too, Well im a lot like you. When you’re standing at the crossroads and don’t know which path too choose, let me come along cause even if you’re wrong, I’ll stand by you’ I sang along between sobs and finally collapsed into Nadines embrace. ‘Come on, il phone Kimba for you’ Nadz smiled at me as she picked her phone up and found the number.
She kept one arm wrapped around my shoulders whilst she held the phone in her other hand. ‘Hey Kimba’ she spoke quickly , ‘Chez needs you, panic attack although not as bad as the usual ones’ Nadine continued into the phone, ‘Ok, yeah see you soon’ she said as she hung up and wiped my cheeks, she kissed me on the forehead before helping me to lay down on the sofa and covering me with a blanket. ‘Ssssh, get some sleep babe’ she whispered before getting up. I just nodded in response, too exhausted to do much else. ‘Nadz, stay with me please’ I whispered. She just smiled and nodded before sitting on the opposite sofa. I eventually drifted to sleep knowing that sleeping meant the usual demons that visited me in my dreams.
