Ghost Bird... Do You Copy?

Keeping It Locked Away

Chapter Fifteen

Keeping It Locked Away

(playlist - Never Alone by Winterpark)

I apologize for the short chapter, but it was necessary. I still hope you enjoy it. Much Love <3

Sang's POV:

I was so distraught and angry and sad. The emotions pouring over me right now... really I couldn't find any single word to describe them. I hadn't said anything the whole way home. The guys had tried to talk to me, but I refused to comply. I was promised anything and everything, but it didn't matter. It just didn't matter. This wasn't just some Academy job. This was a government contract. They were going to be gone until the war was over. And I was going to be here without them. "Oh my god! What if they have an affair with some hot girl while they are gone? Men get weak. I... I..."

"Miss Sorensen. We went years waiting for you. I believe they will be just fine." Owen snapped at me.

"And Pookie, look at what they have to look forward to when they get home. We're all having a baby!"

My hands went right to my stomach and my eyes went wide. The baby. In all the chaos, anger and sadness, I had forgotten about the baby. It was real. It was in there. I started doing the math in my head. Seven weeks ago, everyone was away on Academy jobs delivering supplies, and retrieving families except for Gabriel, Victor, and Sean. Sean had remembered to use extra protection. So Gabriel and Victor. Oh, and Kota. He came home for one day. Not that it mattered. As long as the baby was healthy. Aww...Ten little toes and fingers to play with. I could see all the boys crowding around him or her. Fighting over who gets to feed and rock, and...

"Princess, why are you crying again?" Victor was holding me against him.

"What if I'm not a good mom? My mother was horrible. I'm not ready. This was a bad idea. I need every one of you. Kota and Gabriel too. We are ten, not eight." I looked up just in time to see him pleading with his eyes to North for help. I pushed him away and started to run upstairs, yelling behind me, "That's all I am, a problem for each of you to find a short term solution to."

"Hey guys, get used to hormones going haywire for the remaining months. Anger, despair, extreme arousal or voracity, anxiety, love. She can cycle through any and all of those at any given time. She has just had a lot on her plate this week, and today was probably an overload." I overheard Sean talking from the next floor's railing. They didn't deserve this. I went on up to my room and laid down. I was too worn out for any more excitement today. I needed sleep.

I guess I must have fallen asleep. It was pitch black out when I woke up. I rolled over onto my back, staring at the ceiling while taking a deep breath in and out, blowing the hair out of my face. The room felt empty and lonely. I could crawl into bed with any one of the boys... except the two that were on my mind. I wonder what Kota and Gabriel were doing right now. Hopefully getting some rest as well. I missed them so much right now. I miss watching Kota pushing his glasses up his nose, and how fully he cared about every single one of us, including his mother and sister. And then there was Gabriel. I already missed his foul mouth, and how he didn't care who was around and who heard it. I am going to miss playing dress-up with him.

I turned over again, then knee-walked to the head of my bed so I could crawl up into the window seat. I grabbed my pillow, and blanket, and got myself settled. Looking up at the moon, I wondered if they were looking at the moon as well. No one ever came into my room, and I fell asleep watching the sun starting to rise.