Neysa*For Real*

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After we arrived at the train station, I checked our route, the whole ride would take roughly a day and 8 hours. We would also be able to eat and hopefully wouldn't have to interact much until we got to Indiana. I was used to traveling across the country, but I will always hate it, it gives me too much time to think. Too much time to fall into that dark corner of my mind. I focused on finding a good song, I decided on Panic! At The Disco's newest song Emperor's New Clothes. I loved that song, thank the Gods for music being so wonderful. Of course I had pre-ordered that album but I still couldn't help it, I love my bands.

(Please comment you favorite band)

I fell asleep around the middle of the song. When I woke up I felt better, but we still had a long time until we got there, about 23 hours give or take. I was left to stare out the window and think, after a while my mind began to wonder. What would happen if I oppened the window and jumped? Stupid mind that would hurt, but pains a good thing, it keeps me from hurting others. So, my mind whispered to me all the things I've told myself to justfy the scars. The it was like the darkness woke up, my chest began to ache with pain. I was all to awhere of the blades in my back pack, as the darkness spoke. Wow, you're a demigod and you can't even save the ones you love, pathetic. I am pathetic, I have these supposed powers, but I can't save anyone. Maybe you should just die now so no one else does for you. The darkness is right, if I end it now then Nico and Ash won't die either, maybe I will. Then, suddenly the darkness stopped and anger surged up inside me. I promised myself I wouldn't listen, I said I wouldn't care, I hate myself. With that thought I went to the bathroom. The darkness was gone, but my self-hatred was not. I used my newly found sword to shalowly cut my upper arms on the top, my stomach, and line each of my ribs. Gods, I hate myself for this, but I can never seem to stop. I wiped away my blood and went back to my seat. Ash was asleep and Nico was staring out the window across from my seat. To be honest, he was attractive, but I've learned, over time and experience, no one wants someone who's shattered beyond repair. I guess the truth is finally clear to me now, I'm more than broken, I'm shattered inside and sometimes it leaks out. I turn up my music and play Slipknot, their truths lull me back to a hopefully dreamless sleep, of course that's too much to hope for in my life.

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