The Best of Me (A danisnotonfire fanfic) ✅

Part 21: Family

"Come on, little one. Dinner time!"
I was nervous as heck when Dan looked his hand in mine and dragged me towards his door.
I completely bucked, frozen in my own tracks. Of course Dan had to notice.
"Lee, it's okay. They're really not too bad, they are only doing this to embarrass me. We can always just retreat back here if it becomes too much." Dan were stroking my hair, as I took a couple of deep breath.

Get a grip, these are normal humans, not terrorist or murderers.

"No, it's fine. Let's go!"
I plastered on a fake smile as I followed Dan downstairs. My gaze didn't leave the floor until I were safely seated between Dan and a blonde kid I assumed would be Max. Across the table were his mother, father and a younger replicate of Dan, that would be his brother, Adrian.

The table were overflowing with food, and I felt sick to my stomach already, on top of my cold and constant headache. If this mass were today's dinner, then I wondered what the actual Christmas dinner tomorrow would be like.

I jumped the slightest as I felt Dan's hand on my thigh, giving me a squeeze of what I assumed would be support.
Suddenly Adrian turned and looked at me.
"Who's this?"
I could feel everyone's eyes on me, making my anxiety bubble up.
"This is my friend Leah, she's spending Christmas with us." Dan jumped in to save me once again.
"So is she your girlfriend?" Adrian asked further. I swallowed a smile at Dan's growing annoyment.
"For the last time: we are not dating!"

My chest tightened at his last comment, but I chose to ignore it. It's true, we weren't, so why did I feel so bad?
"So have you shagged her yet?"
The table went quiet, and everyone turned to face the obnoxious kid next to me. He seemed oblivious to the attention.
"What, no!" Dan said, simultaneously as his mother said loudly: "How's the food, everyone?"
"Understandable," Max continued. "I wouldn't either, she's way too skinny."

I thought this day couldn't get any worse, but here I sat outside of my comfort zone around a table filled with strangers and the familiar feeling of a panic attack rising.
"So, Leah. What does your parents do for a living?" Mrs. Howell asked me to cover up for the akward situation. I could feel Dan's nails dig into my thigh, and I won't lie; the pain felt good.

"They're all dead," I simply said, rising up and gathering all of my utensils and dropped them in the sink.
"Thank you for the dinner Mrs. Howell, but please excuse me."
Without looking back I practically ran up the stairs and into Dan's bedroom, possibly slamming the door a fraction harder than needed. Way to make a first impression!

[T/W]

Without thinking twice about it, I headed towards the bathroom and locked the door, knowing in the back of my mind I needed to be quick about it.
As I chocked on my own finger I could hear shouting coming from downstairs. I threw up, again and again, crying hard and scratching my wrists in the process. As usual, I hadn't really eaten anything, so it didn't take much time to empty my stomach content in the toilet.

Careful not to look at myself in the mirror I washed my face with cold water and unlocked the bathroom door. I was fairly surprised when I noticed no one had come after me, but I decided not to dwell on that for too long. With practiced fingers, I slid open the zipper on my suitcase and grabbed my toothbrush from somewhere inside it.

I brushed my teeth and my hair before I undressed and put on an oversized t-shirt. Hoping Dan wouldn't kick me out, I climbed up into his bed and curled up into a ball. For what seemed like an hour, I cried silently for my own misery.

As a routine, I grabbed my phone to send a quick 'goodnight' text to Phil. It had kind of become our thing, and it was a rather nice ritual. He must have sensed that something was off, because it didn't take him long to call me back. Bless Phil and his genuine caring for others.