Truth

15.Concern

It was a few hours after his call that a familiar car pulled up onto the road behind me. I was sat on the bonnet of my car at that point, a cigarette between my fingers and a bottle in my hand. I didn't turn after I had taken one glance, it was Tarim. I didn't need to turn round anymore; there was nothing else to notice. There was no Evelyn.

"Rowan," Tarim called, pretending he hadn't seen me look up at him. I didn't say anything and waited for him to walk to me. When he did he jumped up on the bonnet with me and looked out across the water like I was.

"We've been worried." He said. "Have you been here the whole time?" He asked, not looking at me yet. I probably looked terrible, and smelt twice as bad.

"I haven't moved an inch." I slurred. He turned to face me then, taking in the greasy, slicked back hair and soggy shirt in my waistband. I pulled the top from my trousers and laid it out behind me on the front window to dry better.

"Since when did you smoke?" Tarim asked.

"Since yesterday," I replied.

He stayed quiet for a while.

"Do you know when you're planning on coming back?" He asked, swinging his legs lightly and facing back across the water. I couldn't tell if he would make me go back or leave me if I said I just wanted to stay here. I didn't really know what I wanted to do. I was hungry, but I had been for a while so it didn't really bother me anymore.

My head felt woozy, so that when I moved the whole earth swayed beneath me. And in my head was like a weird drum and quiet hum almost like low violins. It was nice; I'd never experienced it before. I felt high, not that I knew what that felt like; it was how I thought being high would feel like.

"Come with me for some food, I'll bring you straight back here if you want. Just let's get you some food, and a drink of water." Tarim offered. I shrugged my shoulders.

"Well, I'm not leaving until you come with me." He said. I rolled my eyes as best I could, but it probably just looked like a bug had flown into my eyes. I pushed off and stood up.

I stumbled to my car door, picked up the shirt, and threw it in with my whiskey bottle. I put the lighter in my back pocket and the cigarettes in the front, and then followed Tarim up to his car. I had to grab onto his shoulder every now and then, where a slope tripped me or made me unsteady.

"I know a cheap place down the highway, and they have public showers there too so we can wash you up a bit." Tarim said. "I'll put you in there and fill my car up with gas, because I need to."

"I've never given you a reason to like me." I said.

"What?" He asked as he pulled out of his junction and onto the highway. He stepped his foot down on the accelerator and we lurched forward slightly, which made me feel really sick but I tried to hide it.

"You've been nice to me and I've done nothing in return. You just keep helping me and I never help you." I said. "It's kind of a shitty arrangement, you should write a letter of complaint or something."

"I like to think if I did need you, you would try to help. You just haven't had a need to yet. And anyway, what kind of a guy would I be if I just ignored a mate in a crisis just 'cause he hadn't helped my sorry ass yet?" Tarim asked me. It felt like I shouldn't answer it so I didn't say anything. He had a point, but I had punched the guy in the face. He still had a black eye and everything.

"How is Evelyn?" I found myself asking. I hadn't said her name aloud in ages. It felt bitter in my mouth; like I was teasing myself with a forbidden fruit.

"She's been focusing on class, ignoring the rest of us. I think she just feels bad about what happened between you guys but at the same time, I don't want to assume because she hasn't told me why. She's being distant with everyone; drinking too much, like you are. But I don't know what goes on in that chick's head, so I don't know what she's thinking." Tarim rambled. "Lucas was convinced she's been having loads of flings, 'cause she's always going somewhere looking nice. But she's only dressed good, she looks like crap 'cause you can tell she feels it."