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I solemnly swear that
I am up to no good.

As usual, a precise amount of creamer was added to the bitter train coffee before he allowed himself to indulge in the warmth being emitted from the small teacup. The tiny clank sound filled the compartment as the spoon he used to stir the liquid with collided slightly with the glass.

He tried to listen to James's story of how he planned to win Lily Evans over this year with the help of a few tips he'd picked up from some Muggle song, but his mind was elsewhere. Being in the train reminded him of her, the thought of which he had aimed unsuccessfully to push away from his thoughts all summer.

Girls confused him, that much was certain. There was one female in particular that perplexed him beyond all others, and he realized this as he saw her that afternoon from behind his copy of The Great Gatsby that he had been reading while he waited for his coffee to cool. She slid the door to their compartment open in order join the four Marauders in the train compartment, but it wasn't her exactly. At least, not the her that he had known.

Her usual wool sweater had been replaced by a black leather jacket. Her pale pink lips were coated with an alarming red — a hue brighter than the blush on her cheeks when Sirius neared. Even the freckles that skipped across her nose were nowhere to be found. A pack of cigarettes peaked out from her pocket.

"Did you have a nice summer?" she questioned as she plopped in between Remus and Peter.

James's eyes were practically hanging from their sockets; Peter's mouth was sure to be home to a number of unwelcome insects if he didn't shut it soon; Sirius's grin was becoming bigger by the minute; and Remus, well, he wasn't as pleased as the others.

"Fantastic," Peter nodded idiotically.

Freya had always been beautiful. That much was painfully clear. Remus had been one of the first to realize this in their second year when she wore her hair in two braids and had bangs that covered the top of her eyes. He had fancied her from the moment they made their three member book club (the two plus Lily) and spent more time with each other in their third year. He adored her in the fourth year when she 'accidentally' made the snitch that James flaunted around explode in midair with one flick of her wand. And he knew he was in for it when she told him that she fancied Sirius in fifth year.

His feelings only strengthened as time went on and their bond grew stronger. Now, as the Hogwarts Express brought them closer and closer to their sixth year, he realized that no matter how hard he had tried, his feelings wouldn't — or couldn't — change anytime soon. Or ever as far as he could see.

Remus wouldn't mind these never fading feelings if they were returned equally. If there was one lesson he wished he hadn't learned, it was that one sided love hurts.

Of course, she didn't know this, nor did any of the fellow Marauders. And if Remus had his way, it would stay just like that. The only one that had noticed was Lily. The red headed witch had a mysterious way of discovering people's secrets — Remus's in particular.

And because Freya knew nothing of Remus's long felt feelings, he spent his afternoons after lessons alone with her as her best friend, and only as her best friend. He listened to her talk about how madly in love she was with Sirius Black (which she had been since the beginning of fourth year, though he only learned of this secret in their fifth).

When he played with her hair, kissed her cheek or slow danced with her their school's numerous parties, it was because they were friends and only friends.

These feelings only left Remus in a frustrated state. He could only think of the countless, hypocritical comments he'd thrown at James for his impossible infatuation with their friend Lily. After all, Remus was in the same godforsaken boat, only with Freya, who never seemed to notice.

When Freya laughed, Remus was the one telling the joke. When she cried, he was the one holding her. When she was angry at the world, he was the one taking the blows. Remus didn't mind, but he certainly wished that she would drop her obsession with Sirius.

A few days after they took their O.W.L.S last year, Freya had plucked up enough courage to admit her feelings to Sirius, but he had rejected her. Sirius, despite his constant flirting, only thought of the beauty as a friend. So now as Sirius sat with his Cheshire Cat grin and his roaming eyes, Remus clenched his fist that wasn't holding the teacup tightly. He loved Sirius, but at this particular point in time, it took all the restraint in him to not help his friend wipe the smile off of his face. Instead, Remus sank into an even further and deeper confusion. Stray strands were aggressively pulled by his lanky fingers from the wool of his sweater as his mind strayed.

"Remus," Freya's voice called through the small compartment. His head snapped up at her call and their eyes connected.

The girl raised an eyebrow, "I thought you mentioned being a prefect in your letter . . ."

"Shit," he cursed. His legs immediately shot up, and his arm snatched the door to the compartment open speedily.

"Lily won't be pleased," Freya warmly smiled at him.

Remus sent one last flustered look back before he disappeared around the corner. The door slid to a close loudly behind his retreating figure.

"Evans is a prefect?" Sirius exchanged a smirk with James as if they newly discovered information would assist them greatly in the future.

"More like perfect," whispered the bespectacled boy with his signature grin that never seemed to fade.

a/n: please comment (most comments make me smile like an idiot no joke) or vote if you liked! x

qotd: are your finals soon?

aotd: yes, in two weeks . . . I cry.

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