stain ☾ remus lupin

TWO

B L O O D Y
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"You look different," Lily Evans bluntly noted that evening when Freya and Remus arrived in the Great Hall at their house's table.

Mary Macdonald beat anyone else at the table to reply with a supportive smile, "I like the new look, Freya."

Lily exchanged a knowing glance with Remus before he broke it off and looked down at the tray of rolls in front of him. Sure, Freya did look stunning compared to the pure beauty she normally gave off, yet somehow he was given the impression that this wasn't truly Freya. And there was no way he would encourage any behavior that wasn't her own.

"This isn't for Sirius is it?" Lily questioned quietly.

Freya gave Lily a quick frown, and picked her brain for the right words. She gave Lily a shake of the head. It's not like she bought the leather jacket in her suit case just for Sirius's approval. She'd bought it a year prior because it paired well with her favorite blue jeans. It's not like she'd gone out of her way to pick a shade of lipstick that Sirius alone would love. She settled for one that made her happy too. Perhaps every one of these changes combined would make Sirius's head turn, but the perhaps she needed a change too.

Perhaps she was in denial.

Remus simply stared at his plate. He'd rather look at the food that he knew he couldn't eat (his appetite had been lost due to recent events) than at the scene unfolding before him. Mary's actions changed from giggles to nudges on Freya's shoulder as none on than Sirius Black sat with them.

"Sirius," Freya greeted from behind her mug of butterbeer. Sirius didn't respond but merrily smiled at her as if that was enough of a reply.

Remus sympathized with her momentarily. It was hard to have a crush on a friend. For fleeting seconds you wished the stolen glances and butterflies in your stomach at their every move were enough.. He wouldn't wish unrequited love on anyone. He just hoped in Freya's situation, that the crush had not gone as far as love.

If Remus had been in Sirius's same boat, he wouldn't have been able to stop the words slipping out of his mouth. Freya would've gotten way more than a smirk, or even a simple hey back from him. He would've complimented her or asked her how her day had been.

He had it bad.

This combined with the feeling he always had when the night of the full moon neared was what sat him over the edge. One minute he was nonchalantly stabbing a piece of chicken with the back of his fork and the next he had stormed from the Great Hall.

Suddenly, the tall boy had found himself in the boy's restroom nearest to the Hall. Palms pressed against the cold sink as Remus struggled to catch his breath. The familiar feeling of anger crept through his chest, as if the full moon had changed him early. A knot rose in his throat, and angry tears threatened to pour from his eyes.

Suddenly, Remus's fist met the wall with rage. Perhaps he thought that this would satisfy the violent animal that seemed to have crawled up his throat. But it didn't.

Remus had been there for her since the end of first year. Through her obsessed with Wizarding boybands stage where she was in the process of finding herself. Sirius had been there too, of course. They were all great friends, but it was different in a sense. Hadn't he said that he didn't want to ruin the two's friendship last year when Freya had advanced on him? Then why was the boy eyeing her up at dinner? What changed?

"Remus, you're bleeding," said a squeaky voice from behind him. Peter Pettigrew. The small boy must've followed him from the Hall.

"I've been worse," Remus grumbled. His friend waved him forward.