Always Only You (Rewriting)

18| Duodēvīgintī

In case you foolishly forget: I am never not thinking about you.

Virginia Woolf

Leah's Pov:

It's almost been two weeks since Ryan disappeared from my life. I always convinced myself that he wouldn't have done it without a reason.

I spent most of my time at Aunt May's with Lily, we would go shopping and to the movies often, catching up on some sister bonding that was long over due.

Dexter was left in the care of the Sanchez family that lived next door. So when I went to pick him up, it wasn't surprising when they all bombarded me with questions.

"Lay Lay, you can see now?" The little boy named Juan asks in wonder as he waves his hands in front of my face in amazement and flashes me a toothy grin. 

"Did it hurt?"

"Where is big brother?"

The aunties gave me looks of pity as I try to laugh it off and explained that he went on a long trip for work. The problem was that before it was just looks because I was blind, but now it's looks they give a girl who has had her heart broken into two. The difference is that now I can see the expressions on their faces.

Their thoughts are so clearly visible. "Poor girl! Where is the man when he just had a surgery? Did he leave her to fend for herself?"

I also finally got in touch with Patricia who gave me an earful when I met her after a long time. "You aren't leaving my side again," she warns as she grabs my arm as we walk down an alley after grabbing a bite to eat.

She decided to sleep over at my place, to catch up on things and remember the 'good ol' days as she liked to call it.

"You are still going to stay here, alone? Pat finally asks as she looks around the apartment. I insisted on staying back here, incase he ever comes back.

It was home.

Our home.

"Yes, I am," I sigh as I fold one of the flowery sheets that now looks faded and worn out. I need to remind myself to get new ones when I go out tomorrow.

She looks worried as she takes the sheet I'm folding from my hands and claps them tightly. "Please think this through. Do you really need to stay here. If you think he's coming back, I'm sorry-"

I clear my throat as the tears nearly escape my eyes. It takes all of my will power to stay composed. I've cried many nights, wondering why and where he left to-without an explanation.

At first I was heartbroken for a few days, but the more I thought about it, the angrier I got. Now all I wanted was to see him and scream my lungs out at him.

For leaving.

In the apartment, there wasn't a single picture of mine with him. Most of the frames had pictures of only me. How he saw me through a lens. I glance at the picture by the bed- the one where Dexter is licking my face.

It was when I had brought Dexter into the house for the first time.

"You are so clumsy," he laughs as he watches Dexter bound out of my grasp and run all around the house. I frantically grab a hold of the air, expecting his leash in my grasp.

"You can help me, stop being so mean," I whine with a pout on my face. That causes him to chuckle more.

"Fine, I'll help you this time," he whispers in my ear and makes me sit down on the floor. "Snap your fingers and say 'here boy'" He slips some kind of treat into my palm and I do as he says.

"Dexter, here boy!" I whistle and I hear the sound of paws rushing towards me. He pounces on me with such force, causing me to crash onto the ground in fits of giggles as he enthusiastically licks my face all over.

"This will make a good picture," I hear Ryan say before I hear the sound of a camera shutter.

"You took a picture? But I look so ugly!" I exclaim as I feel the strands of hair drenched with sweat over my face.

"No, you look beautiful," he says as he tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear. From his tone, he meant every word he said.

The saddest part is that I have no clue what he looks like. From Aunt May's description- he has dark black hair and is very handsome. I wish I had forced him to take a picture with me, so I could stop imagining what he looked like.

"You know that I've started my own academy a few years back, right? I could use the help, you know." Pat suddenly offers, interrupting me from my thoughts as I whip my head up from the photo frame that I was staring so long at.

I gasp as I feel my fingers tremble as I feel excited but that soon turns to fear,"I haven't danced in a while Pat, I don't think I'd be cut out for it."

She scoffs as she pats my shoulder,"You were always so talented when we were young and dancing back in the day. Besides, you just need to teach the little kids first. Baby steps, kay?"

I bite my lip and nod in excitement as I fling myself on her and wrap her in a tight bear hug. "I-I've missed these hugs," she wheezes and I hug her tighter.

The people who cared about me, I've pushed away. Has Ryan done the same to me?

"Okay."

"Okay what?" she asks, confused.

"I'll take the job," I say, plopping on the bed and staring at the beige ceiling above.

It's weird. Now I can notice and appreciate all minute details and colours easily.

"Will you move in with me then? The studio is pretty far from here. You'd have to take a bus since you don't drive."

I shift my head to study her face which is full of worry. I misty worried her to death all these years. I feel sorry that she had put up with me all these years. I'm so lucky and blessed to have such a good friend.

"Don't worry so much about me, you'll get creases between your brows," I laugh as I flick her furrowed brows causing her to flinch in shock. Her brown eyes widen as she smacks me playfully with a pillow.

"I don't have creases!"

***

"Beautiful girls," I coo as the cute little six year olds twirl prettily in their pink and black leotards. Patricia had given me a wonderful job, and I enjoyed every minute of it.

"Hey," Fiona, another one of the employees peers in. "Someone on the line is asking for you. I'll watch the girls for you," she adds adjusting the glasses perched on her freckled nose as she walks in and ties her red hair into a bun to take the class in my stead.

I stare at her, puzzled. I hadn't given my work number to anyone, I wonder who knew I worked here. "I'll be right back, okay? Be nice and listen to Miss Fiona," I tell the children who nod their heads in agreement.

So cute.

"Hello, this is Leah speaking."

I hear a deep voice with a hint of a foreign accent on the other end. "This is Alexander-"

I know no one by that name. He must've mistaken me for someone else. "I'm sorry but you have the wrong-"

"This is about Ryan," he says breathlessly with despair in his voice as it nearly cracks.

My hand starts trembling as I clutch the phone tighter and my heart starts sinking as I continue to listen to him over the phone.

My worst nightmares are coming true again.

A/N:
Honestly, I was really discouraged with this book, that I neglected it for days. I just felt that no one was reading it. But I decided to complete this book for myself and for the two or three other people reading this book. Thank you for being so patient and understanding. I'm sorry.

-Suzanne