Brotherly love (phan)

Epilogue

Prom was probably one of the best nights Phil could remember even to this day. No one cared that they were brothers, or that they danced with only each other all evening, even if they were wearing masks so no one really knew. But it didn't stop Phil kissing Dan anyway or slow dancing with him.

Sixth form came and they as they registered under different names, they didn't really explain that they were brothers. They only started explaining when they had made friends who they trusted who supported them and were even jealous that they got to spend so much time together, and that their parents were cool about it. On that topic, they had actually managed to tell Ellie and Tim they were together. Well, they had come home for Ellie and Tim to tell them they needed to talk and sat them down, explaining how they had known for a while that they had been together as a couple and then pulled party poppers, leaving them a little dazed but happy that they weren't going to be kicked out.

At the end of sixth form however, things got a little bit... different. He was going to York to study art, and Dan to Manchester to do Music Tech. Phil was almost back to normal with Dan, his confidence mostly back, until they had a fight. On the night before they both went up to separate uni's, and Phil really couldn't handle it. Dan had been asking about distance, obviously worried and Phil had made a joke about something stupid, and Dan had broken down and started crying and yelling. Phil had been scared, but Dan didn't stop. And then Phil got angry and the break up was messy. They slept in separate rooms for the first time that night, and then Dan and Tim had left before Phil had woken up. That had really hurt.

Phil didn't tell Ellie what had happened on the drive up, pretending they had said goodbye early in the morning when Dan had left because Dan said Phil should sleep. Every word sounded bitter, but Ellie didn't mention it, thankfully. Knowing her intuition, she would already know.

They unpacked and then she left, leaving Phil to fall into uni life. He made friends, got drunk, didn't speak to Dan (who managed to avoid him whenever Tim and Ellie came to visit). He wasn't having nightmares anymore which was a huge relief, but then Christmas came, and they both had to go back. Phil flinched when Dan walked into his room, having come back a few days after him, but instead of ignoring him like he had in the past, Dan crumpled and started sobbing. And when Phil touched him, he pulled him closer and cried into his shoulder. He apologised for being so horrible, and for making him scared when he said he would never do that again and just that he was so so sorry. Phil accepted his apology of course, and Dan gave him a watery smile. They weren't back together, but at least they were spending time as friends again.

Christmas was lovely thought. Phil had gotten Dan a jumper and Dan had gotten him a stuffed toy for lonely nights (even though Phil explained he wasn't having nightmares anymore) and then they ate too much and watched too many movies. They also talked about uni, and how they both thought it wouldn't be good to get back together, but the idea was never off the table. They even kissed under the mistletoe once, leaving them both blushing. They slept in the same bed again that night.

They weren't together, but they ended up getting it on each time they met up. At least through the first year, and it was okay like that. But then Phil met a guy in one of his classes that he was partnered with to do life drawings and then he had a boyfriend for a bit. He always remembered how awkward it had been explaining it to Dan, who had looked sad, but said that he understood. Phil wasn't expecting this relationship to last forever though, he just didn't tell Dan.

Then second year rolled around and Dan came to stay over for a bit before exams and broke down, saying how he didn't want to be at uni anymore and he missed him and Phil hugged him and talked things out with him. Phil shared his bed with Dan but explained he needed things to end with George before he could be with Dan again. Because he did have feelings for George, but it was obvious to both of them they weren't as strong as his ones for Dan.

He and George broke up the next day.

They then found a flat together near Phil's uni and talked to Tim and Ellie about living there together. They were fine with it naturally, but Ellie got a little emotional as she realised how much they had grown up.

The flat they shared had two bedrooms, but because they slept in the same bed without fail every night, the other became partially a storage room, but otherwise Phil's painting studio. Dan's piano was also in there, and sometimes Dan would sneak in and play while Phil worked, making him smile. Dan was often the subject of Phil's paintings as well, blended watercolours and smiling faces. He always looked beautiful, even if Phil felt it was never quite right.

They spent years in that flat, both finding small sustainable jobs and saved up, and then were suddenly buying a house together. And it had a garden. Phil had kept whining about missing having a garden, so actually having one suddenly brought out the gardener in him. He got sunburn on the first summer because of it, but Dan just chuckled and helped smear aloe vera on his back to sooth it.

Then, the dog happened. Well, both dogs happened. The thing was, Dan was planning to buy Phil a dog for his birthday present, as they'd talked about getting one for ages but had never gotten round to it. However, he wasn't expecting Phil to turn up home the night before when it had been freezing out huddling a little pug puppy in his coat.

"Oh hey you're bac- WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR COAT MOVING." he had yelled.

Turns out Phil had seen the lost puppy howling behind some bins so whisked it off to a vets to see if it had a chip in it. It didn't, and then Phil wasn't letting go of it. Dan had sighed and explained that as a surprise for his birthday they were going to go and pick up a rescue dog that was only about a year old that Dan had thought perfect for his present. Phil had kissed his cheek and asked what the problem was. Dan thought it was best to call his parents and get advice on how to raise two puppies when they were both working (even though Phil worked from home).

It was around this time that they'd realised they'd done everything in the wrong order. In fact, they'd forgotten all about the concept of marriage and how it was the 'normal' thing to do. Neither of them did anything big like a special engagement, Phil just looked up from the paper one morning and said 'Should we get married?'. Dan replied with 'Only because Oli won't stop pestering me about buying a ring'. It was a small ceremony, Oli and Charlie (having broken up but stayed good friends- who Phil had caught making out at the reception when they were both a little drunk) both being the best men and making very embarrassing speeches. But it wasn't like much was different however, they didn't change names, just wore the rings. They had been called an old married couple by various people for years now anyway.

Years later and the topic of children came up. They were in their early thirties now, and Dan had spoken up over dinner about maybe adopting. Phil had gone silent and Dan was worried Phil was just going to launch on him that he had set it up already, but instead he looked like he wanted to cry. Dan shuffled around to stop his hand bending his fork he was squeezing it so tightly and everything came out as a rush: Phil didn't want children. Well, was scared of having them.

"You're not the one who gets pregnant in this, you know?" he'd teased, trying to ease the tension but Phil had rested his head on Dan's shoulder and let out a huge sigh.

"I don't want them to end up how I did," He mumbled. That's when Dan remembered Phil had been through the whole adoption process personally, and had been so scared for a good part of his life that no wonder he wasn't jumping at the idea. "What if we die and they are left without anyone?"

"They'll have mum and dad,"

"What if they die too?"

"Phil..."

"I just... I don't want the world to hurt them, and that will happen. I don't think I'd be a good dad," he sighed and Dan kissed his cheek.

"We can not have kids you know, I won't hate you for it. We already have Poppy and Pig," Dan reminded him and Phil had never looked more relieved in his life.

So that became that. They were middle aged, had two elderly dogs and happy lives living together as husbands. They weren't really brothers anymore, but if they were honest, they never had been. They may as well have been in love since they first held hands.

The End

Thank you for reading, it's been a wild ride, i hope you all thought this was okay. All my love, Anni ♥

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