Whisper of the Woods

•40•

Blake

It's 6 AM and I can see the sun's light just start to rise and kiss the horizon. I lie entangled in my bed sheets with my duvet strewn over the second half of my body. After Blair and I decided to go back to bed, my eyes could never stay shut.

I didn't want them to. Not with my nightmare etched into my eyelids. I can just feel the weighing anxiety in my chest every time I allow myself to think back.

Therefore, I just lied awake in the comforts of my bed. You would think that being without a proper bed for over six months I'd be out like a light by now. But I can't sleep. I just can't.

I can hear things shuffling in the other room indicating Blair, getting ready for school.

School. School is another whole anxiety in itself. I don't know if I'm ready to go back. Or if I ever want to go back. Maybe I'll just finish school online, so I can stay home.

Because I'm not ready. I'm not ready to see Little Miss Perfect strut through the hallways. I'm not ready for the loads of overwhelming homework and assignments.

I covered my face with both my hands and an exasperated huff left my lips. A light knock came to my door and I permitted for them to enter.

It was Mom in her black silk robe. Her chocolate brown hair in which mine resembled, was pulled back into a lazy bun. Her hands hidden under her arms.

"How ya feeling?" She asks me, ambling closer to my bed.

"Mom the minute I got here I was better," I turned on my side, facing her. My eyes began to feel heavy and it became too much of a task too keep them open. So I let them close and listen to Mom's soft voice.

"I'm so grateful that you're alive."

"So am I," I laughed. I felt the bed slightly delve down, signaling that Mom had taken a seat.

"I wanted to talk to you about your school situation," She said. My eyes popped open and I slowly sat upright. She unfolded her arms, revealing a white envelope in her hand.

She hands it to me. "This came a few months ago. It's from one of the colleges you applied to."

My lips parted and stomach twisted. I took the envelope in my hand and studied my full name located in the top left corner. I stared at the envelope in amazement for a few extra moments until I hastily turned it around and ripped the flab off. I straightened out the stubborn creases in the neatly folded paper and skimmed it over.

My eyes widened. "I got in."

Mom gasped. "You got in?"

I looked up at her with a smile that stretched ear to ear. "I got in," I nodded eagerly.

"Oh my god sweetie that's great!" Mom threw her arms around me.

I don't even remember the last time she's given me a hug. Or ever has shown any type of affection toward me. I made no hesitation to wrap my arms around her. This all I wanted. I just wanted her to except me. Be a supporting mother and not push me to the breaking point.

Mom pulled away with a saddened face which made my smile fall. "What's wrong?"

"You just got back," She whispered. "Are you sure you're ready to finish school here and then go to another school far from here?"

She makes a good point. Just a few minutes ago I was dreading going back to school. And everyone knows college can send your life for loops.

"You're right," I nodded. "I-I don't think I am ready to leave."