Dancing Away with My Heart: (Part 2 in Dancing with Artem Chigvintsev trilogy)

19

The trip home was slightly awkward. Maks had told me he was going to stay in Paris, and I refused to let him. I knew he would go back into a state of depression and once again shut out everyone who cares about him. I forced him to return to New York with me and he agreed.

We sat in silence for most of the flight, only speaking when I had to squeeze past him to use the bathroom or when I admired the view of the ocean below us.

When we landed Maks had fallen asleep. I woke him up and he jolted awake.

"What?" He shouted, forgetting where he was momentarily as a crowd of other passengers beginning to get off turned in his direction.

"Sorry." I said aloud to Maks as well as everyone else, so I could excuse his outburst.

"Well we're back." He said looking out the window, "still looks the same."

"I'm so happy to be back, but before I surprise my boys and have some time alone to fix my marriage. I want to take you somewhere." I said. I planned to bring him to his old studio, to encourage him to buy back the space and to do what he loves again, here in New York.

"No." He said sternly. "I don't particularly want to go anywhere with you. Is this going to compensate for the emotions I am feeling regarding us? We slept together..  I thought you wanted to. How am I going to live with myself? I professed my love to you.. And stupidly believed that you wanted me back.."

His words were making me feel even worse about my whole messed up world than I already felt.

"..I'm glad you forced me to return to America, but that doesn't mean that I'm going to be with you everyday. It's me or him, not both of us."

I started to cry.

"Look don't cry." He said "I'm sure everything is going to workout between you and Artem, and Oh your boys will be so happy that their mommy is home. Go to them."

Without another word he grabbed his bag and departed the plane, leaving me there to process all that has happened. I used Maks, my bestfriend, to get back at my husband. Maks didn't deserve that. And Artem definitely didn't deserve that. He deserved me to work with him and to forgive him. After being unfaithful myself, I now know the torture it places on your mind. 

My only fear now is that by working on my marriage I end up losing a husband and a best friend.

I let out a deep breath and walked out into the chaos that was JFK international airport. People everywhere rushing to catch their flights.

In that moment I forgot where I was supposed to go to get my luggage. I hadn't eaten a thing all day and barely moved the entire length of the long flight overseas. My head began throbbing, and as I stood still in the sea of people, the sign that read "Baggage Claim -- Left" began to fade.

I felt very dizzy and could barely catch my self as I began to go down. My legs came out from under me and I banged my head off the cold ceramic floor. I felt the pain immediately and then felt none at all.