poems

My Mask Stole The Light (but that was to help me)

I beheld all glory through a frozen mask
I actually had a hole through which to laugh
I smiled and I stayed that way
So much longer each and every day
I watched through those ever smaller holes
And from watched the world go by
When my icy mask began to freeze who knows
I punched new holes for each eye
But I forgot my mouth
Too soon I was silenced
Too soon I was scared
Too late I noticed
But that's when I cared
I couldn't breath
I couldn't show my smile
So I stopped breathing
And I stopped smiling too
But it seemed no one knew

When I looked into the water that should have held me
The silky grave in which I should have lain
I should have been buried under that flow
And I should have stayed there for many much snow
But now I know
My innocence in a moment was slain
My happiness left as I took off my mask
I wanted my fake smile back
As in a split second enveloped in black
A world without light
A place without air
I was left shaking sobbing there

I saw the world for what it really is
I wished and toiled to put my mask on
But it was soiled the world had won
The string had snapped I saw it too late
I stood that day at Hell's gate
I saw the world oh sorry fate
The whole world charged me with its hate
But I couldn't not care
I couldn't ask another this burden to bear

So I turned within
I took on my sin
I saw what I had done
It had to go somewhere so it went to me
Again just a moment too late
I saw what had loomed
I was then doomed

I scraped I cut
I hated it in my gut
But it still had to go somewhere
So I let it leak out with black on my red
Still I hoped I wished I was dead
I know now what that old mask had done
Opened Pandora's box and soaked up the sun
I can't turn back
I refuse to let go
So

I live each moment in agony
Praying each moment set free
But I still can't hurt those I love
And I'm not destined yet to visit above
I don't really want anyone to see
So I hide it I fight it I kill my own lead
And I would gladly trade in my deed
The one for the gold silver lined
But that's for love with luck I would find
I have to look far to see anew
Someone to love that isn't you

I'll live a new morrow
I'll deal with my sorrow
I won't and can't quit
You wouldn't see fit
I'm though going to say
Seemings as I have to stay

I do love you and I'll deal as I can
I'll try not too hard chase you who ran
Back to the love who rules your life
And I will deal with my strife
I'll cope as I know how
So this page from I'll get
And I promise won't quit
But frankly my dear no longer does poetry cut it.