Chapter 6

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I was back to normal in three weeks.

I was going to interviews, performances, pubs, clubbing, all that good stuff. But I never forgot everything Jay did for me when I was...ill.

He was really kind to me. Did everything I asked and everything I needed. Helped me. Cared for me. He claimed it was out of friendship, but I found myself wishing that wasn't true.

I started to notice him. Really, really notice him.

His eyes were a perfect shade of blue. Not too bright, not too dark. Just right. They showed every emotion Jay felt and were usually filled with amusement and happiness. I loved that in him. He was such a carefree person, and I loved it.

His curls were a beautiful dark brown. They sprung back into place whenever I played with them. They were soft and silky.

He was really funny. He was just a happy-go-lucky party guy, not a care in the world. But he was also very loving of his family, friends, and fans.

I found myself attracted to Jay. Was it possible Natalie dumping me turned me gay? I had no problem being gay. It was just that if the fans and press found out...I was over. The Wanted was over. So I kept these feelings buried and secret.

One night I sat in a pub with everyone. Everyone consisted of me, Jay, Max, Siva, Tom, Nareesha, Kelsey, and Nano. Yes, Nano. Strange, huh?

I watched as Jay and Tom had a drinking contest. I liked that about him, too. Not the drinking. The friendly competitiveness. Why was Jay so perfect?!

"Ah, forbidden love," Nareesha sighed to me.

I raised an eyebrow at her. "Excuse me?"

She smiled. "I see the way you look at him, Nathan," she whispered. "The way he looks at you."

I froze. Was it that obvious?

She laughed. "Yes, it is that obvious. But relax, Nath. I completely support you two, if you do get together. I think you'd make a great couple."

Tom overheard the last sentence. "Ooh, new girl, Nathy?" he asked, grinning mischievously. He was obviously drunk.

My face flushed red. "No! Of course not!" I glared at Nareesha, who just smiled.

"What's her name?" Max asked.

I glanced at Jay, who wasn't yet drunk. I searched his face for emotions. Was that...sadness?

I shook my head. "There isn't a girl, mate. Trust me. I'm single and happy."

"No girl? What about a boy?" Tom asked. He laughed with Max. I just froze and looked at Nareesha.

"No," I said weakly. I begged for help with my eyes.

Nareesha responded. She rolled her eyes and put her arm around me. "Leave the poor boy alone. Pick on someone else."

They turned their attention to drinking again. I dared to look at Jay. He was looking back at me.

He looked sad. Hurt. Rejected. My heart fluttered and ached for him, to tell him how I felt, to kiss him, to hug him, to touch him. I bit my lip and looked away.

I couldn't deal with this right now.

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