Only Ever You (Jaythan)

Chapter 17

{A/N Hey guys! Did ya miss me? I'm back now! I'm sorry this chapter isn't too long :/ Been busier than I thought I would be! ~Pickles}

Beep beep. Beep beep. Beep beep.

I opened my eyes.

I was in a very white hospital room. Jay was sitting in the chair next to my bed, asleep. I made a noise at the back of my throat and reached for him.

He sat up and stared at me. Then he hugged me tightly and buried his head in my chest. "Nathan, oh my god. Hi. Hi. I'm so sorry. I love you. I'm sorry. Oh I love you I love you I love you!"

"What happened?" I asked groggily.

"You passed out in your room. The doctors here diagnosed you with some kind of mental problem I know isn't really true. Right? You can get better, right?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What's the alternative?"

His eyes grew watery. "They want to put you in a mental hospital."

I panicked. "No! I need you guys! I have to stay in the band! Jay, help me! Don't-"

"Shh." He kissed me gently. I missed the sweet taste of his lips and desperately tried to cling to the feeling. I'll do my best to keep you by my side. I am not leaving you again. We can get through this, Nayf. I promise. What do you need?"

I flicked my eyes up to meet his. The blue rings shone with serious intensity. "I need you."

Jay kissed me again. I reached my hands up and grabbed the back of his head and neck. He knelt and applied more pressure, darting his tongue out against my lips. I let him in.

I tentatively moved my hand to his waist, feeling his body through his shirt. He trailed his hands along my chest, lighter than a feather.

Jay finally pulled back and wrapped his arms around me. He held me tightly, as if reassuring himself that I was there. I shuddered as his hands stroked my hair.

"Oh, um...sorry. Am I interrupting something?"

We split apart and looked up at the nurse in the doorway.

I sheepishly smiled. "Yes, but come on in."

She hesitantly sat in the chair. "How are you feeling, Nathan?"

"Well, my head hurts a little and my wrists itch, but I think I'm okay. Hungry."

"No phantom pains or anything?"

"No. Why did I pass out?"

"We think it was the lack of sleep and nutrients."

"Okay. So, when can I go home?"

The nurse shifted in her seat. "Well that's the thing..."

"I'm not going to any mental hospitals. I'm fine. I was just upset, but the boys can help me. I trust them. I don't need anything else," I said firmly.

The nurse looked at Jay, then back at me. Some thing in her face gave way and she sighed. "Can I put all medical care into your hands?" she asked Jay.

He nodded. "Of course."

"Come sign some paperwork, then." The nurse stood and Jay followed her out the door, blowing me a kiss.

He came back a few minutes later.

"They want to keep you here just another few days to be sure," he said. I nodded silently. He sat beside me and took my hand.

"What's wrong?" he said softly.

"I thought...you were disgusted with me," I replied, barely audible to myself.

"Nathan! Why would I be disgusted?"

"Because I'm a pathetic weak fag like everyone says."

Jay hugged me tightly. "No, you're not. That's just what people say. They're wrong. I promise you're a beautiful, inspiring person. Don't let these things get to you. That's the reason you're here in the first place. And you want to get better, right?"

I buried my head in his shirt, letting loose a few tears. "Yeah." I held onto this moment. The feel of my love's warm embrace, the scent of his skin, the support that radiated from him.

Everything was going to be fine.