Pain 2: Him (H.S)

Chapter 80

"Alee! Alee!" I shout searching for the lost girl but everyone around me seems to be too drunk and high to acknowledge me. I should've stopped her before she got away from me, it's not like I'm looking to hurt her. I just want to talk to her, tell her I love her, and maybe offer to fix her phone.

"Aleevonne!" I yell for the tenth time and from the corner of my eye, I see a figure rushing up the stairs between the spaces of the scattered people. Pushing and shoving bodies out of my way, I follow the brunette up, calling her name and attempting to grab her hand to hold her back but some how she's managing to avoid me. Damn she's fast. The halls are packed with couples sucking each others faces off and dancing off beat and all I can smell is vomit and cinnamon? Not a good mix.

I see her at the end of the hall entering a room and faster than I could decide my next step, I run to the door and fortunately, it's unlocked. I enter and halt to her back facing me, and even though the music is loud I can somehow hear her sobs. "Alee?" I say cautiously shutting the door behind me. This must be Harley's parents room or the guest room.

I'm panting and trying to catch my breath at the same time but honestly I feel like I'm ready to pass out. I haven't chased her in a while so my body isn't used to it. "Hey." As I reach to touch her shoulder, she nudges me away and turns angrily, her brown eyes filled with tears and lips quivering, and I throw my hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry," I pant, "I didn't mean to upset you."

"Why are you still here?" She asks trying her hardest not to cry. It kills me.

"Because..."

"Well, leave. I don't want you here." She dismisses attempting to sound confident, but even behind it I can hear her pain.

"I know you don't, but I just couldn't leave after waiting this long to see you." I say over the muffled music.

"Oh really," she laughs, "you're saying that as if you left with intentions of coming back."

"Look, I kno--"

"No, you look. You can't leave for a damn month and then show up out of nowhere! You can't just pull me aside and kiss me as if you're my boyfriend! You're not!" What the fuck? Where did that come from?

"Then what am I?" I ask feeling some sort of ache in my chest. Why did that hurt so bad?

"I don't know, and I don't really care, Harry. I've been doing better since you left and everything is finally falling into place. You can't come back and ruin it for me." She counters throwing her hands up and I pull the roots of my hair in my fist.

"I'm not here to ruin anything for you. I missed you and I wanted to come see you. I mean, I'm happy everything is going well for you, I'm happy that you're happy again, but I've been miserable."

"After everything you've done, you should be." She spits rushing passed me to the door to leave but I step in front of it blocking her. "Move." She demands but I don't, "I don't want to play your games anymore, move!" She yells trying to push me out of the way but her frail arms give out. I don't understand why she's so bitter towards me. I understand I hurt her and I get I did things that ruined us, but it's been a month. Can't she just sit down with me and talk?

"Stop fighting me." I say trying to calm her fists hitting my chest but I can see this is something she has been waiting to do. I fall against the door and release her wrists allowing her to hit me, and even though her intentions are to hurt me it seems to be hurting her more.

"You can't do this to me! I don't want you back here!" She cries, her cheeks wet and eyes swollen from the tears. She isn't hurting me, if we were in a different situation I would say her hits are adorable but her words seem to be striking me more than her actions.

I'm still happy to see her, I'm still glad I at least have the chance to look into her eyes again even though it sickens her to look into mine. She can hit me and yell all she wants, she knows I'm not going anywhere unless she really wants me to.

"God, Harry! You always do this!" The weak, emotional girl finally stops and steps away catching her breath, and I remain silent giving her the time to express herself. "You always come back and fuck me up! I was fine until you called, then you got me thinking about us and other shit I shouldn't be thinking about, why do you always do this to me?! Why do you always show up right when I finally begin to fix myself?!" I really don't know what to say or how to answer her, but all I want to do is hold her. I want to make her stop crying and put a smile on her face, I want to wrap her in my arms until she calms--until she's okay again. It's distressing seeing her this way. "And you know how much of an affect you have on me yet you take advantage and kiss me anyway!"

"I know, I'm sorry." I frown towards her.

"Stop saying that," she cries gripping the sides of her hair, "you're driving me crazy." She whispers through her tears and when I step closer to her, she moves away. "Don't touch me, go away." She whispers backing towards the wall but I refuse to leave her. I didn't suffer all these weeks for nothing, I didn't plan this whole trip just to fucking leave.

"Stop moving away." I say following her steps.

"Stop moving closer to me. I'm serious, I want you to leave." I don't know how she does that. How she can look right into my eyes and say that shit. It's convincing. "Harry!" She gasps hitting the wall and now we're nose to nose.

"I'm not here to hurt you, I'm here because I miss you." I assure her again and I lift my finger to trace her soft lips. "Please stop fighting me."

"Stop touching me." She orders turning her cheek but I gently turn it back so that she's back to looking at me.

"There aren't enough words to express how sorry I am. I beat myself up everyday thinking about I hurt you and all I wanted was to come back and tell you how much I love you and how it's literally impossible for me to forget you. I told you many times before that I don't have a life without you and that you're the pulse in my heart. Alee, believe me, you are. I'm nothing without you, and I understand if you hate me but please, I'm begging you just hug me back. You don't have to kiss me, don't say anything--nothing. Just let me hold you." I plead trying to fight back the tears and fear from the possibility that she might deny me, and carefully lift my hands to grab hers. "Alee, please."

"Harry," she whispers, leaning forward to press our foreheads together and she skims her lips over mine.

"Hmm?" I hum intoxicated by the smell of her skin and how much I've missed her saying my name.

"Leave."

I sigh, defeated that I've lost and I pull away with a heavy heart, and turn to leave. I really thought she missed me as much as I missed her. I don't think she has ever hurt me this badly. Each step to the door is heavy and long and all the work I put forth to just hold her and talk to her has gone to waste. I'm a ruined man who has nothing left.

"Take me with you."

"What?" I turn hoping my ears didn't deceive me.

"Take me with you and you can hold me."

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Hey everyone! I didn't realize it's been like 23 days since my last update :\ I was waiting for the previous chapter to get 500 votes so I guess I lost track waiting for it, but I noticed earlier and immediately got to writing. I know this is short but I'll make up for the length in the next update. Hopefully this chapter will get 500 votes in the next couple of days, maybe before Christmas.

Anyway, thank you for all the nice comments and love you sent out about the problems I was going through. It meant a lot that so much of you cared. I'm lucky to know people like you and hopefully you all will stick around with me for a little while longer. :) I love you all <3