Pain 2: Him (H.S)

Chapter 44

Anne's POV:

The morning sun seems dull to me, it's shining but the illuminating light provides me no joy or contentment. Everything is packed and ready, and although my things are sealed in a case, my memories won't seem to come with me. Am I a bad mother for leaving my son? I'm conflicted with my own question because as much as the guilt is eating at me, I know he can survive and care for himself. He's a man beyond his years with the capability to take the proper and small steps into independence, and I know his father and I raised him to conquer the world with the help of his mind and heart, not anyone else. He's a smart kid, my boy is the smartest kid there is and I have no doubt that he will continue to be the man he is right now.

It's a bitter sweet day for me, but I know Harry loves me and will always be my son. I know he doesn't truly hate me, and I know that he wants me to be happy regardless of his sour words. I should've seen this all coming and it was wrong on my part to hide this for so long, and it was especially wrong for booking the tickets so soon, but he knows that anytime he wants to come back with me, he never needs to hesitate. That plane ticket would be in his hands that same day he asks.

It's almost seven and the cab will be here around eight to take Amilia and I to the Philadelphia International Airport. I've done everything on my checklist so the only thing left to do is wait.

I haven't made breakfast in a while and I'm not sure if Harry still hates it. Since he was a kid he hated it. He wouldn't even eat cereal, that's how serious it was. But Alee is breaking all his bad habits and helping his learn to try new things. I love that girl so much, just like a daughter, and I'm so grateful Harry has someone like her in his life. I know they've had some ups and downs but I've never seen Harry this smitten with someone before, not even with Mia. When he first started dating Alee, he wouldn't shut up about her. And Harry of all people wasn't the type to talk much, but everyday after school, he'd sit and have lunch with me while telling me how he and her hung out. He told me about the times he taught her how to play football and the piano, and he even told me that he was in love with her. I think it was the second or third month, but that's what he told me. He said, "mom, I found her" and I let Harry be Harry. They are made for each other.

Alee and her mum are coming in a few because I haven't had time alone with Gabby in a while, and I would like to catch up on things before we leave. She has been such a good woman to Harry and I have a simple favor to ask her. Despite Harry's and Alan's disliking towards each other, I want her to look out for Harry while I'm gone. I know that's my job, but as confident as I am in him, I still need to keep my heart at ease and with Gabby watching him, I know he'll be safe.

I've set the plates around the table, placing the eggs, bacon, and toast in the middle with the juice so that they can all serve themselves, and am on my way to wake Amilia. She has been a bit emotional lately because she won't be seeing Harry anymore and nothing breaks my heart more than seeing that. I keep telling the both of them that they will always be siblings no matter where they are, and that they shouldn't even entertain the thought that maybe one of them will forget the other, but Harry's so in love with her that it's his biggest fear. It's heart-rendering yet beautiful.

When I open Amilia's door, she's laying on her stomach on the floor, swinging her feet in the air as she colors what looks like a piano on a piece of paper.

"Amilia?" I smile walking in and she sits up.

"Shh! Harry's asleep." She presses her finger to her lips as the other points to Harry. His large frame looks hilarious on her tiny bed, but my boy will always be my baby no matter what size he is. I've put him through so much, I can't believe I can even stand myself.

"Okay, sorry." I whisper approaching Harry. I stand beside my son, flattening the wrinkles of the small pink blanket over his chest, and kiss his cheek as gently as I can. I know he won't hug me or say goodbye when I leave, so this is my only way to get it. "Okay, get ready." I've been crying so much these passed few days, you'd think all the tears have drained, but I have more hidden inside of me threatening to fall every time I see him.