•Letters•

10.

Love of my life,

Running away seems like the perfect idea, you did it so why can't I? You know why I can't because I love our son.

As much as I lose sleep over him being sick, me being up all night crying. I have found out that he hears me every night but is to scared he will get in trouble for coming to see me. He starts school in a couple of years and I've been taking him to playgroups so he can interact with other kids.

Everytime I go it's the same mums and dad's, happy couples. They all have their own little groups and they talk and mutter. I haven't made any friends there and I feel like they're talking about me.

I couldn't take it anymore, I snapped and when I say snapped I mean majorly snapped. All of the kids saw and heard me I went to lay into one of the dad's.

I couldn't help but yell and scream and then I pulled up my sleeves which was a really bad idea. They just pointed and laughed in my face and that's when I took a swing. But I was stopped.

Someone grabbed my fist and I turned around go snap but I saw Calum standing there and I collapsed into arms when I felt Noah hug my legs. He explained to the lady who runs the group why I snapped like I did because I have told him everything.

When I asked why Calum was here he said Noah called him and asked him to come so he could sort out a boy who has been picking on him. I don't know why he didn't tell me but I was really greatful he was there yo stop me.

I would've been charged for assulted or something like that and it's not what I need right now. I've got enough on my plate.

Now we have been banned from that playgroup I have to find a new one, hopefully one where there isn't so many hob snobby people who will talk behind my back and might talk to me and give me a chance.

I need to pick myself up and keep going but I just feel like I can't take it anymore. Fingers crossed everything gets better for me.

I need support, I need my rock back. Your my rock I'm still lost without you even after all of this time.

Calum and Ash are staying the night, they've just put Noah down for me.

Stay safe Luke, wherever you may be. Wether your walking this earth or 6ft under ground, stay safe. Don't go around doing anything stupid.

Goodnight Luke, I love you x

Jas x

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I'm trying to work out a couple of twists for the book to make it more interesting.

Love you

~ Jodie x