•Letters•

22.

Dearest Luke,

The storm is hitting hard tonight, this thunder is just crazy and the lighting may as well be street lights it lights up that much.

I have both kids and the dog in bed with me tonight, Calum, Ashton, Michael and Skye have all crashed on the lounge room floor on mattresses. They said they were coming for dinner and then going home but they ended up staying.

It doesn't bother me at all, I like having everyone here. Especially when the weather is like this, it makes me calmer and I feel a lot safer. April came around today with her boyfriend, she came to tell me they were going overseas for a couple of months.

It was good seeing her and her boyfriend seems nice enough. I took a good long look in the mirror today and oh I can finally see myself again. I felt something, I could see myself.

Not past all my flaws but I could see myself and I felt something, for once in years I was starting to feel happy about myself. I got told I was pretty the other day by a young guy, he was gay but he was nice.

I still don't believe people when they tell me I'm pretty, I made it convincible to you that I believed you. I never did.

I'm starting to realise deep down you knew that but you still told me everyday. I'm really starting to miss when you took care of me when I was sick.

I was crook as a dog last week, I got out of bed and made it to the couch. I had to call Calum since he's the only one not working at the moment he's setting up for the business.

I had to get Calum to take care of my kids, get them to school on time, make them breakfast/lunch/dinner. He cleaned the house, did the washing. Stayed every night, Ash stayed to and helped where he could.

I felt helpless, so helpless. I stayed in bed all week they wouldn't let me get out, unless it was to shower or use the bathroom.

They made me eat, you name it they did it. I'm greatful having them and I wish, I wished everyday you would walk through the door and come take care of me. I was so run down, nothing was going my way.

Nothing is going my way.

I need you by my side again, I'm missing you more than you think. More than you will ever know.

Love you

Jasmine xo