Forbidden Thirst

Chapter 10: I'm All Alone Now

*Janine*
I arrived at Blue Sparrow Hospital and saw Quinn sitting on one of benches. He stood up when he saw me and walked over to me with a concern expression. I smiled weakly at him " Thanks for accompanying me. I really appreciate it."  

"Its fine, Im free anyways." he replied. I headed over to the counter and saw the nurse typing furiously away on her computer. "Hello, a man was rushed into the hospital by the name of Micheal Donovan. May I know where is he now?" I asked the nurse, my voice cracking.

The nurse looked at me and begun searching for my Dads report. "He is still in the operation ward. Walk straight down this hallway and turn left." The nurse curtly said before returning her attention back to the computer.

I nodded and looked at Quinn who gave me a reassuring smile. I swallowed the lump in my throat and dragged my feet according to the directions instructed by the nurse. With each step, my heart thumped loudly in my chest and my breath grew heavier. 'What if he didnt make it? What if he was in a coma? Why did an animal suddenly attacked him?'

Thousands of scenarios played in my head, each leaving very negative and upsetting outcomes. Fear gripped in the pit of my stomach and my palms were getting sweaty. Hot tears threatened to escape from my eyes but I held them back.

We reached the end of the hallway and turned left. Facing us was the operation ward. In there was my father.

I clasped my palms together and prayed for my father's life, desperately hoping that he would brave through this.

I sat down on one of the chairs and laid my head in my hands. I sighed in frustration and in desperation. Suddenly an arm was around me. I looked over at Quinn and saw him looking at me with a softened expression. He pulled me closer to him and I laid my head on his chest. "Don't worry, your Dad is going to be fine. He's strong, just like you." 

Tears that I have been holding back cascaded down my cheeks in rivulets.  I wanted to believe in his words.  I desperately wanted to. But I'm afraid of getting my hopes up but only to be crushed with disappointment. Going through my Mum's death was traumatising enough. I couldn't sleep and eat well. Every night I cried myself to sleep calling out my mother. 

Going to school was the hardest part. My classmates would laugh at me and mock me for not having a mother. Some even said that I was the reason to why she died. That I was an unlucky jinx. That I had brought my mum to her death with my bad luck. 

I had come to the point where I could no longer feel anything. The pain had caused me to feel numb, unable to feel anything emotionally. I even wanted to kill myself one night as the pain and sorrow was too unbearable. I had attempted to slit my wrist and let myself bleed to death. But before I could slice that blade and drain my life force away, I thought of my dad. 

I couldn't just leave him alone like this. I couldn't end my life just to stop feeling the pain from my mums death. We only had each other now.

I moved away from Quinn's embrace and wiped my tears away. Just then the door of the operation ward opened and the doctor walked out. I rushed to him and grasped tightly onto him, nearly tripping myself over in the process. "Hows my Dad? Is he okay? Can I see him?" I frantically asked the doctor. The doctor looked at me and said "I'm sorry Miss Donovan. We have tried our best. But it was already too late. His heart had already stopped beating by  the time he was sent here. We are really sorry." 

My hands slipped from his arms and hung limply by my sides. I collapsed onto the floor. Tears once again rolled down my cheeks.

'No it cant be...My Dad...hes dead?'

"No it cant be. He's alive. He cant be dead. No!" I choked out, gasping for air. My heart hurt. The pain shot through my entire being. I started shaking and telling myself that its not possible.

I stood up and ran inside the operation ward, not caring the nurses and doctors shouts and their attempts to bar me from entering further. 

Finally, I saw my father. He's lifeless body in front of me. I held his cold and withered hands in between my palms and looked at his pale face. He seemed to have age incredibly since this morning. 

"Dad wake up. Its me, Janine. Wake up and look at me Dad. I'm here to take you home. Dad please wake up! Stop sleeping! Wake up Dad! Don't abandon me in this cruel world please...Dad!" 

I rocked his body, willing for him to wake up and pull me into his embrace. To tell me that this is all just a dream.

"Dad...wake up please.." I sobbed into his unmoving and still chest. I could no longer hear the heartbeat that I used to whenever he embraced me. 

"Im sorry Miss, its time to go." one of the nurses whispered. I felt a pair of strong arms around me, trying to lift me away from my father. I pushed his arms away and stood up myself. I leaned towards my father and planted a kiss on his cold forehead. "Goodbye Dad. I love you.." I whispered.

a/n

Hey guys back with an update. Sorry that this chapter wasn't really well written. 

I tried my best to impute the characters feelings as they were my own. (well sort of )

Wasn't really having the feels to write today. just this morning, my grandmother was admitted into the hosp from a bad fall at the market. She was in a  really bad condition >< thank god her life is out of danger. 

But i promise the next few chapters would be more exciting :)) so stay tune!