Forbidden Thirst

The Light

*Janine*

For the next few days, I hid myself in my room and refused to step out of the house. I just sat in despair and stared at the photo frame on my nightstand. It was a picture of me and my parents. we were very happy together and were the perfect family, until the night my mum left us. 

Now, even my dad left too. I'm all alone. I'm dying. I feel that my heart has been ripped out, stepped on and then shoved back into my chest. This feeling of loneliness and abandonment left me broken from inside out. I had been crying all day. All the energy drained out of my system. 

When I finally got up and walked into the bathroom and looked at the mirror, I can no longer recognised the person staring back at me in the reflection. Her hair was a mess. It was dry and sticking  out at every direction. She looked extremely pale and frail, thin and hollow. Her eyes were swollen and her face were stripped out of any colour, just like a blank white canvas. 

I stared back at the mirror for a few moments before realising the damage that I had done to myself. In that moment, I decided that I want to be on my feet again. I'm not going to give in just like that and that I'm going to survive in this cruel world. Mum and Dad would not want to see me like this. They would want me to get back up and move on instead of sinking to despair and mourning over something thats not going to come back. 

I removed my clothes and stepped into the hot shower, letting the warm water hit my face. I cleaned my hair and face and washed away the gloomy shroud that has been covering over me. I get dressed into my favourite black hoodie with the words 'Nirvana' written in the front and throw on my leather plants. I decided to get some of my favourite pastries and coffee at a nearby cafe. I really needed some  food. 

And some fresh air. 

I put on my timberlands and brushed my long hair before grabbing my clutch and headed out of the house. The cafe was only in the next street and I decided to walk my way there. I passed by the park and admired the beautiful scenery of the lush plants and flowers. I inhaled the cool autumn air and entered the cafe once I was outside. I ordered my favourite doughnut and a cup of Americano. I paid the cashier and found a seat by the window. I bit into my doughnut and took a sip of my Americano while looking out of the window.

I sighed and pondered over my situation. I'm old enough to live on my own and should be liable for a job. I needed to get a job so that I can provide for myself. 

However, the thought of me living on my own in my house makes me feel sad all over again. The house which once filled with love and warmth, was nothing more than just an empty shell. A cold and hollow empty shell with memories of my late parents.

I decided to think about this later on and focused on finishing my remaining pastry. I wanted to start anew. No, I needed to start anew. I'm on my own now, I have to depend on myself to stand up and get to where I want to be.  I'm going to be a new person with a new goal and purpose. I want to make it in life so that I wont disappoint my parents. 

 Its time I step out of my darkness and embrace the light coming my way. 

a/n 

So sorry for the late update!! >< have been really busy with school work and will try to update more as much as possible. Btw I will be starting a fan fiction of BTS :)) Do check it out when I published it :))

Sorry for the short chapter >< will try my best to make the next one longer :)