Doctor, Doctor (R.S.L)

Chapter 4

Almost a week had passed and I was still thinking about our almost kiss. The moment he left the apartment that day, I remained on my balcony for at least another hour. I just couldn't wrap my head around the fact that we almost kissed. I didn't even know Ross liked me. 

I didn't even know I liked him!

I mean, did I? I thought he was attractive when we met, and I always found myself having a good time when we hung out, but did I have feelings for him? Feelings that weren't platonic? 

"I'm giving myself a headache." I muttered, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. I refocused my attention on the pot filled with boiling water on the stove, reaching over for the box of elbow macaroni. Macaroni and cheese was Jess' favorite, and instead of just using a box of Kraft, I always made my own. I made sure the macaroni was soft enough before draining out the water, adding the other ingredients needed before finally putting some in a bowl. "Jess, come eat your lunch!" I called, placing the bowl on the table. 

I could hear her little feet padding across the hall as she ran, and I smiled as she came into view, her wavy hair bouncing in sync. "Thank you, mommy." She grinned, flashing me a toothy grin. 

I sat down next to her, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "You're welcome, baby." As I dug into my own bowl of mac and cheese, the front door opened. There was only one person that had the key to my apartment. "Hey, Morgan." 

"Hey," She greeted, coming into view. "Ooh, mac and cheese. There better be some for me." I nodded, motioning to the stove. "How ya doing, munchkin?" She ruffled Jess' hair, bypassing to the stove to make herself a bowl. Due to the food in her mouth, all my daughter could do was nod. 

Once Morgan sat down next to me, I lowered my voice and leaned in closer. "I need to talk to you."

"What's up?" 

"Don't freak out. Promise me you won't freak out." If she did, then Jess would start asking questions. I really didn't want that right now. 

She nodded slowly. "Should I be worried?"

"No, it's nothing bad." I think. "Ross and I almost kissed." 

Her eyes widened, the grip she had on her spoon tightened, and her jaw dropped. I knew it took all her strength to not scream-her face was turning red-and I was extremely grateful. "Really?" She finally whispered. I nodded, proceeding to tell her everything that occurred on that day. I found myself smiling as I retold certain points, in which she pointed out that I was blushing. 

I hated to admit that I was. 

Morgan started firing questions at me the second Jess ran off to play in her room. I tried answering each one the best I could, but I stammered over the answer to her final question. "Do you like him?" 

"I-I don't know." I fiddled with my fingers nervously, gnawing on my bottom lip. "I haven't liked anyone romantically since..." I trailed off, not needing to finished my sentence.

"From what you've told me, Blake, I don't think Ross would runaway because of Jess." She tried to comfort. "He works with kids everyday."

"That's not the same." I muttered. "I just don't want to get involved with someone who will just leave me because I have a daughter." 

"Anyone who does that isn't the one for you."  She grabbed my hand and gave it a squeeze. "You deserve to be happy with someone who will treat you right. I'm sorry, but Kyle wasn't the one for you. If he loved you enough, then he wouldn't have ditched you and Jess."

I couldn't help but cringe slightly, the name of my former love echoing around in my head. Though I no longer had any feelings towards him, the pain he caused me remained. I remember crying the day I found the note, explaining why he had to leave. Why he couldn't stay with me and my baby girl.