Doctor, Doctor (R.S.L)

Chapter 15

I hope you guys are ready for the big secret! 

Time stopped.

I couldn't move, couldn't speak. My throat felt dry, like I swallowed a bag of sand. I was no longer able to look at Ross, my eyes focused on the cushion of the couch. I tried to ignore the feeling of his hand on my thigh, his reassuring words in my ear, but it still forced the tears out. 

Tear after tear rolled down my cheek, landing on my pants and creating a small wet spot. I knew it was a simple question and he didn't mean for me to react like this, but I couldn't help it. He was always a sensitive subject, no matter how much time had passed. 

"You don't have to tell me." Ross murmured. "I'm sorry I asked." 

I shook my head, lifting my head and wiping my eyes. I wanted to tell him...tell him everything. But how could I? I was terrified of him finding out the truth. "I-I want to tell you." 

He nodded, gently brushing his fingers through my hair. He dropped a lingering kiss on my forehead. "Take your time." 

I clutched a cushion against my stomach, all the while being gentle so I wasn't in any pain. I cleared my throat, wetting my lips. "Danny was my big brother," I began quietly. "He died in a plane crash a few years ago." 

He squeezed my hand, reassuring me and encouraging me to go on. So I did. "Danny was the best brother in the world. He was four years older than me, but we were so close it was hard to pry us apart. I remember looking at pictures when I was a newborn, and he was holding me with the biggest smile on his face. He, uh, he actually named me. My parents wanted to name me Lulu."

Ross' nose scrunched up. "Blake suits you so much more."

I cracked a smile, nodding. "I agree. I've thanked him a dozen of times for naming me Blake. I guess that's what made us so close to begin with. We did everything together, even went on a roadtrip together after he graduated high school. My parents weren't even worried about me, a fifteen year old girl, because they knew Danny would take care of me." I grabbed a photo album from underneath the TV stand, handing it to Ross and sitting back down. "We went everywhere, took pictures of everything. I remember screaming so hard when we made it to Disney World."

I stopped for a moment, watching as Ross flipped through the photo album, smiling and chuckling softly at the different pictures. I had looked through the album so many times that I pretty much remembered the placement of each picture. It was my first roadtrip, and I wanted to document everything. 

"Did your cheeks hurt after smiling so much?"

I grabbed a cushion, slamming it in Ross' face as he laughed. I quickly sobered up, knowing very well that our conversation was nowhere near done. He placed the album on the coffee table, giving me his full attention. I continued, trying to keep my emotions at bay. 

My heart was being erratically as I struggled to get out the hardest part of the confession. "When Danny was twenty-two, he married his high school sweetheart, Sam. I remember being so happy, because I was finally getting a sister in a way. As lame as it sounded, they were my best friends in high school. And when they graduated, I thought I was going to be the out cast with no friends, who always sits by themselves and doesn't talk to anyone. I was shy around people I didn't know, but they helped me get past that." 

Tears unwillingly filled my eyes, my voice wavering. "A-A year later, t-they h-had a baby...a baby girl. A baby girl they named J-Jessica." 

I clenched my eyes shut before I could see his reaction, tears streaming down my cheeks and most likely staining my cushion. When I reopened them, his face was full of shock, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. I was terrified that he would now walk out and never look back. He could claim that I lied to him from the beginning, yell at me and storm out of our lives.