It's not like I wanted to die. Not at all actually. I had a great life with a lot of stuff in it that I loved. I just couldn't live with the pain anymore. It became too much.
Being in the centre of things wasn't a life that suited for me. It was never something that I planned, it just happened you know. I became really lonely in a world where I was surrounded by everyone. When he told me that I should talk to someone, someone professional, all I could think of was that he was out of his mind, there wasn't any other people in this world.
But no. I didn't want to end my life. I didn't want to leave all the people I loved behind, but there was no other choice.
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They never tell you how difficult life is gonna be when you're in school. They never teach you how to be able to live when everything in life falls apart. They never teach you how to live with the biggest of sorrows. Maybe that was why she did it. Because no one told her how to continue with her life when nothing seemed worth living for anymore.
My friends thought that I should talk with someone about what had happened. Someone professional. Bullshit I say. Just because someone has a degree on understanding people doesn't mean a shit. They haven't felt the way your feeling. I wouldn't talk to anyone.
Jimmy, I'm sorry, I love you
The words rang in my head the entire time. Her words. I had read them so many times. Every day.
