The Right Way to Write a Book

What If?

If only, if only I think as I sat down,
You'd see how beautiful you are behind that sad frown.

I live in a life full of stupid, fucking, "what ifs."

I prepare myself for all that can possibly and not possibly go wrong, and if something would change how the outcomes would be different.

But I can't prepare myself for everything in life.

Although I try.

So hard.

I think and overthink and just have anxiety over it all.

I make lists and

Plan bunches of years beforehand and

Double -- triple check to make sure I have everything and

Just.

Everything is just planned out in perfect detail.

And when it's all planned out, I still ask "what if?"

Because it's a legitimate question to ask.

Wouldn't one want to be prepared in a crisis?

I mean schools plan out if a fire would happen or if there was a tornado or a shooter in the school or around the area.

So why shouldn't I take precautions with myself about every little thing I do?

Because it takes time and effort and it just sucks.

Some people live life without asking "what if?"

They believe that there are no what ifs. So things just happen.

So:
•I have to live in the moment and not care about the risks.

•I can't let those stupid what ifs take control over my adventurous lifestyle.

•I should be free, be happy, be in control.

•My mind and thoughts are not what should control me.

But what if they do?