The Right Way to Write a Book

Stress

What the actual fuck.

So many people have stated, me included, that they gain recurring nightmares, anxiety attacks, breakdowns, insomnia, what have you, because of these stressors.

One of the main causes are
School
And society

Like why the actual heck do everyone have to do the same things?
Go through the same classes in order to graduate,
Have the same outfits to be "popular" or fit in?
Just do the exact same fucking things.

Like it's just not cool.
I enjoy people that do things their own way.
Are original.
Be themselves.
Show their true colors.
Are personal.

Stress brings me to the point in which I want to kill myself.
I want to fucking die.
I don't believe I can handle it.
Because so much is placed upon my shoulders.
I have to do so many things and meet so many objectives and be a part of so many things but I don't want to anymore.

But I'll lose myself if I drop everything that I'm doing now to try to find myself.
Ill have to start over.
Because I've been taught to do the same things as everyone else.
And it's so fucking ridiculous.
I don't want to lose myself in order to find myself.

But then again, am I even my true self? What do I have to lose?
Other than everything that I've come to know?

Will I love my new self or turn to hate it?
Will I be overwhelmed by all the changes I make?
Will it just cause more stress to my system?
Cause there's already too much as it is.

What can I do?
Without crying?
Without the suicidal thoughts?

Without the stress?