The Right Way to Write a Book

I'm too numb for this

I am cold.

I am numb.

Just everything sucks I want to get out of this world.

To not have to deal with these things.

I like to travel through books and be away from this world, away from all the problems.

But will that happen? Who knows.

I've been pushing people away what do I even do. What can I do?

I'll just screw some more things up, of course.

I just am a mess up.

A freak.

Everything that nobody wants.

I'm a waste of space.

But I'm selfish and I need more space.

I just.

I feel like crying half the time and nobody makes me feel any better.

I hate my life half the time.

And I'd be totally okay with dying.

So I wouldn't have to deal with anything.

But then wouldn't that make me even more selfish?

For leaving everyone behind and making them pick up the odd ends of my left works?

Can I just leave then, sort everything out with my mind and just come back with everything fixed and live like I never left?