Subject #013 | ✓

Chapter 3

I slam the bathroom door behind me, sniffing as I enter a stall. I drop my books on the floor, oblivious to the fact that I scare the crap out of the person in the stall next to me. I lower the top seat, pull my legs up to my chest, and cry.

Crying is a strange emotion. The feeling of wet tears stinging your cheeks. The feeling that you might want to wipe them away, but you also want other people to know how you feel. The feeling that if you blink, more tears will fall. It is strangely comforting.

The bell eventually rings, and I know that in order to make it to class before the late bell sounds, I need to get moving. I haul myself up and make my way over to the sink.

I'm not a germaphobe like my best friend, Bayley, is, but it's still a bathroom. I keep my hands under the hot water until they turn a bright pink. I stare at myself in the mirror, and at first glance, what I see doesn't look like a person. Red rims line my eyes, and my hair is frizzy and tangled. I take a shaky breath in before exhaling and turning off the water. Then, I grab my books, and walk out of the bathroom with what I hope is a confident gait.

I mean, it's just so confusing. First the F on my exam, now Jax. I wonder what's in store for me next.

Sniffing one last time, I make a mental decision. Don't talk to Jax, don't even look at Jax, and DON'T think about him. I'm not so sure I can follow my own rules. It helps that we don't have American History together, but I still can't wrap my mind around it. We'd been dating for one year, which is quite a long time when you're in high school. Most people can't stay together for a week.

Just as the late bell rings, I slide into my desk in American History. Ms. Weather raises an eyebrow at me from her spot at the front of the class but says nothing.

Someone taps me on the shoulder, and I turn my head to see Bayley directly behind me, forming a T with her hands. Our secret code is something we've used ever since third grade. It serves as secret communication, which is more useful than one might think. T means 'trouble' or 'time-out' in our language. We rarely use it because typically, none of us are in imminent danger. I offer up a weak smile. She must know I'm not feeling the greatest, and she's joking with me. I turn back to the front of the classroom.

Ms. Weather starts her spiel about World War Two, and right as I'm about to fall asleep, a note flies onto my desk. The only person who does that in this class is Bayley. In fact, we do it all the time. Sometimes, we'll get so bored, we complete several matches of Tic Tac Toe and Hangman. I unfold the slip of paper, and sure enough, I recognize the slanted letters of Bayley's handwriting. Meet me in the bathroom. I look back at her with a confused glance. Does she know about what happened with Jax? Bayley and I have known each other since birth, so I shouldn't be surprised she suspects something off.

I pick up my pencil and quickly write, can't this wait? I pass it back, pretending to be paying attention to the lecture, though Bayley and I don't worry about being caught. Ms. Weather's practically blind. The guy on my right is asleep, and the girl on my left is on her phone. Ms. Weather doesn't even send them a second glance.

It's not long before the note comes back with the reply, we need to talk.

I frown. I don't think I've ever seen this side of Bayley in the full seventeen years we've known each other. She's crazy and intense. She's pretty much everything but serious. I don't know why I'm so skeptical. It's not like I want to hear this lecture.

I raise my hand. "Ms. Weather?"

She stops halfway through her sentence and gives me 'the glare'. "What?" She asks roughly.

"Can I go to the bathroom? It's an emergency." I ask.

She studies me for a few seconds before pressing her lips together and nodding tersely. I get up, catching Bayley's eye on the way out. She nods.

As soon as I'm out of the classroom, I head to the nearest bathroom and wait. It doesn't even take a minute before Bayley throws open the door and walks in.

Before I have the chance to ask her what the heck we're doing in here, she knocks on one of the stalls and Jax walks out. We're in the girls' bathroom. What is Jax doing in here? I cross my arms and avert my gaze to the wall.

"Jess," Bayley says. "We have something to tell you, and I can't keep this from you any longer." She says, already looking regretful. I stare at her, waiting for her to go on. My heart beats faster, and I'm suddenly afraid for what she wants to say.

"Well, what is it?" I ask. "And what is he doing here?"

Bayley shifts from foot to foot, hesitating. "Believe me, I never thought you or I would be in this position." She says. "Jax and I..."

A strange tingling makes its way through my body, starting at my fingertips. "Jax and you what?"

"We're together now." Bayley spits out, as if it's poison on her tongue. I back up, biting my lip so hard the metallic taste of blood touches the tip of my tongue. My back touches the wall, my hands splaying against the cold, hard surface. It doesn't take long for rage to overtake me. I'm not good at holding in anger.

"Please don't be mad--" Bayley starts.

"Did you seriously just tell me not to be mad? You screw my boyfriend and say everything's fine? I don't think so. Was it you who told him to break up with me?" I say, horror reflected on my face.

"Jess—"

"No." I cut her off. "I don't want to hear that you just got together over coincidence or some s**t like that! Because I'm pretty sure you could've told me you were interested in the first place. Was it jealousy?" This is aimed mostly at Bayley, but Jax visibly winces at my comment. Good.

"No, Jess. Just listen. There's a logical—"

I let out a bark of laughter. "Cliché. If there is an explanation for this, it is that you are a jealous, selfish slut, and he is a gullible, ignorant little boy. I thought you were better than that. Just get away from me. Both of you." I can feel tears threatening to escape, and I hate it. I don't like crying, and I hate pity even more. I won't break down. Not after earlier. I'm not going to show my vulnerable side. I stand up straight and blink the tears out of my eyes only to see Jax and Bayley looking at each other with obvious grief over the confession. I look away. "I hope you're happy now." I say, and stalk out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind me.

Hooked yet? I hope so. Installments will be posted daily unless I say otherwise. Leave comments, feedback, and the like below. Thanks for reading!