I feel weirdly disconnected from everything. I've hoped, expected even, that those feelings and thoughts stay hidden in the darkness of the night, but now they haunt me in the darkness of the day. I am tired, so tired, I feel like I haven't slept at all, my head hurts. I feel like I'm still in a dream but I am awake. Even though barely. I look exausted, which is stressing me if someone will judge me. Let's be real for a second, they will. They will see the bags under my eyes, my unexcited expression, my messy hair, and they'll judge me by it. Maybe they'll just think I'm tired like all of them, or maybe they think I'm having a bad time, or maybe they are disgusted by me. I'm disgusted by myself sometimes.. I can't really bring myself to be happy today. I don't even exactly know why. Is it the lack of sleep? Is it because it's the first day of school? Or something else? Am I just feeling down because I think I should? Why am I asking these pointless questions? It's annoying. I am annoying. What did I even do this year? Spent a little time with my friend who is always feeling super stressed after we met up, spent time with my family, who seemed to be annoyed by me a lot, and spent time doing my hobbys. So, basically I did nothing productive. I feel soo good about this! Sometimes I feel like I don't have a purpose in this life, that my existance doesn't contribute to society. Not now at least.
I hope you like this chapter! Thanks for all the reads, I'm honestly still surpised that anyone wants to read this.
YOU ARE READING
When Darkness enters my mind
PoetryLate night spirals of thoughts and worries Trigger warning: If you are sensitive towards constant mentioning of dark, depressing topics then you might not enjoy reading this.
