Sometimes, I think people are one of my biggest distractions from myself. When I'm around someone I like, I am happy, if even just for a short while. Part of it is that it genuinely makes me feel good, but also occupied, distracting my mind from everything that drains me. Another part is that I don't want to be a burden to them, I want them to enjoy their time around me, and, who enjoys downers? But for the time, I'm fine. That's nice. It's not nice however when they still don't kill my sense of loneliness, when the happyness drys out as soon as I'm back in my room, my retreat and prison. I keep myself to myself a lot, decide strictly what I show people and what I hide away. It's crippeling, to always feel watched, judged, critisized. To bottle a lot up, just letting it out when I'm alone.
Sorry for the very late chapter, I kinda forgot about it, also had a weird day today. Hope you still liked it, not like a lot of people care anyways.
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When Darkness enters my mind
PoetryLate night spirals of thoughts and worries Trigger warning: If you are sensitive towards constant mentioning of dark, depressing topics then you might not enjoy reading this.
