Only Cry Silent Tears

Days Like This

Monica

"Monica... Monica wake up." My younger sister Ava said shaking me, trying to get me up. I gave her a weak smile, wiping my eyes. I didn't get much sleep last night but, was glad I managed to go another night with my virginity.

"Where is Rick?" I asked looking over the clock placed on top of my dresser across the room, 7:20am.

"He left. I locked my room door until he left just like you said!" Ava said and I smiled telling her to go pick out something to wear. I had to get dressed and definitely had to change my sheets Rodney messed them up pretty bad. He left his stick nasty semen on them. I started taking the sheets and blanket off my bed and put them in a bag so I could throw them out then I went to wash. When I finally got down stairs it was 8:30am Ava was waiting. "Are we gonna be late?" She asked.

"You're not but I am. What you hungry for?" I asked her.

"But Monica, I don't want you to be late." Ava said grabbing her bag.

"You come first Ava and you know that so, what do you want to eat?" I said opening the refrigerator. She said she wanted bacon and eggs so I grabbed them along with a couple of Eggo waffles out. Ava usually wanted this breakfast so it was something that I could do quickly on the stove and in the toaster.

After we ate I cleaned up the mess and started to walk Ava to school. We didn't live too far from her school but, as for me it was definitely a totally different case. I had to use Good old public transportation. I hate it. Rude people and foul smells but I had to use it so I can go to school.

I stood at the bus stop for about 6 minutes with two other people who I usually see when I'm late to school. We never shared conversation, we usually just sat there in silence until the bus came. Most of the time they would have headphones in so even if I did want to have conversation I didn't want to be rude.

"Good Morning!" The bus driver said to everyone as the entered the bus. Everyone ignored him but me since they were all engulfed in their music and mobile devices.

"Good Morning sir." I said with a smile. He was always in a good mood. I hear that a smile is contagious and it's so true in his case. I sat near the middle of the bus in a seat alone reading the material for my first class. I made it to school at 10:05am, I missed two classes but didn't mind since I'm passing them anyway and did some catching up on the bus. I got to my English class and walked right to my seat not saying a word to anybody. I don't have many friends, wait I take that back I don't have any, well that's if you don't count my lab partner Kayla.

"Well look what the cat dragged in." A girl named Jessica said to her friend Yolanda. I hated them! Jessica lives in the house across from mine. She done fucked half the basketball team and is well on her way to half the football team. I don't see how the hell she has time to fuck with me every day. She's basic as hell and the jokes she makes aren't even funny.

"You mean nobody? Do you see that sweater? I can guarantee it came from the goodwill." Yolanda laughed. I just rolled my eyes and continued on with my work. They are really starting to run out of things to say because she mocked my sweater with the same thing the last time I wore it. I hate my body, and since it's bruised I try to cover it up with baggy sweater and long pants year round. I get teased because of it but I just brush it off. I have bigger things to deal with then defending my clothing choice.

"You crazy!" Jessica said laughing. "Anyway, guess who came over last night?" She continued sticking her tongue out.

"Christian?" Yolanda asked. The fact that she had to ask was so sad but that's none of my business. Jessica nodded grinning hard as hell. "Oh, so you gave him some?" She continued. AHHH I hate the fact that I have to sit here and listen to them talk about nothing. Why did Ms. Calloway hate me so fucking much? I mean she had to because why else would she sit me next to these two basic ass hoes. Christian this and Christian that! Like ok, I understand that the guy is cute tall, caramel complexion, beautiful brown eyes, perfect pearly white smile, abs that could crush a walnut but, he is a complete ass. I nearly jumped for joy when the bell rang. I quickly gathered my things stuffing them into my bag and I rushed trying to get to my locker. I didn't have time to put my things away when I got here and they were going to be too heavy to carry all day. I ran looking down making sure not to trip over or step on anyone's feet and bumped right into Christian hard. I hit the floor.

"Yo, watch were the fuck you going!" He yelled.

"Uh, sorry" I said reaching for my books but he kicked them.

"Bitch you ain't sorry. Scuffed up my new Jordan's. " He snapped.

"She said she was sorry Christian, damn cut her some fucking slack." Kayla my lab partner said helping me pick up my books and passing them to me.

"Look, just let her know to watch were the fuck she going next time." He said storming off with his squad and groupies following closely behind mugging Monica.

"Monica you ok?" She asked. I nodded. "Pay Christian no mind, he just made the Coach is pulling him off the team and he's just taking it out on anyone who gets in his way." She laughed.

"It's ok, I'm good. What's the Coach pulling him off for?" I asked, not caring but happy he's finally getting his dose of Karma that was way overdue. I never understood how the meanest people keep easily getting the things us nice people have to work our hands to the bone for.

"You didn't hear? Girl you are so out the loop." She said joking tapping me on the shoulder.

"Well you know I don't talk to many people." I said as we started walking to class.

"Well word around the hall is that Mr. Smart ass isn't so smart." She said smiling.

"Oh wow, that's a surprise considering he's passing our chemistry class by his Manish good looks." I said rolling my eyes. Everyone in the class knew that he wasn't passing the class, because he knew the material. He was rarely even there. I stopped at my locker and quickly stuffed my extra books away and grabbed the ones id need for the rest of the day. I quickly looked in the mirror placed on the door and noticed some of the redness from Rodney slaps were showing on my face and it was still slightly swollen. Ignored it and closed my locker continuing to walk with Kayla.

"You need to stop letting people treat you like nothing Monica. If you let them do it they're going to continue to treat you this way.

This is one of the very few classes I don't hate. Mainly because of Kayla and because nor Jessica, Yolanda or Christian were in it. Well Christian was but he never came to class so it was just the same. The day breezed by and before I knew it lunch time had arrived. The worst part of my day.

I walked with Kayla to the line and quickly got my food before sitting at the table that I usually sat at with Kayla.

"So, you like milk MONICANT?" Jessica said walking over to where Kayla and I sat.

"Jessica leave her alone." Kayla said. I just eyed the milk carton Jessica had in her hand.

"Oops too late." Yolanda said when Jessica spilled it on me. It seemed like everybody stopped what they were doing just to laugh at me. Everything in me wanted to punch both her and Yolanda in the face but I just got up and walked out the lunch room. My mind was blank and my body felt numb. Why must they pick on me? I don't do anything to them. I ignore their banter and they continue to pick on me. Maybe Kayla is right, maybe I need to stand up for myself. I just brushed the thought off and changed into my gym shirt and went through the rest of the day. People who saw me in the hallway would talk and stair but I don't care. Kayla says I need to stand up for myself that I need a back bone. But days like this make me just.... Give up.  

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alright here is an update.

I'm not sure what long and short updates are. 

i just write so bare with me

I'll update soon