Only Cry Silent Tears

I Told Him

I wanted to finish my thought so i added more before i forgot how i wanted this all to start. More soon, maybe this weekend. I owe yall anyway. Thanks again to everyone for the Love. I know yall hate Rodney lol someone said he should die off some beer lol I was so weak. His day is coming you all, just be patient with me. Its always the Darkest before the Dawn.  Enjoy this little bit, sorry for any mistakes.

-CV

Monica

"Are you ok?" I asked Christian and I sat in his room. He wasn't talking and he looked so upset. I knew it probably had something to do with him talking to Omar earlier but I was 100% innocent in the situation. Christian did it all himself.

"Yea Monica I'm fine, it's just my head still hurt a little." He said. I thought he was lying but I let it go. I didn't want to press the issue and he take it out on me so I just left it alone. We sat in silence for minutes and I couldn't take it anymore. I wanted to help fix his problem. I wanted to know what they talked about.

"Christian, don't lie to me. Somethings bothering you. Is it about Omar? You think he's suspecting anything? I'll tell him it wasn't what it seemed on Monday. I'll tell him you still hate me..." I rambled trying to help fix the problem but I was cut off by Christian.

"I told him." He said cutting me off. His voice was just barely above a whisper but, I'm sure he knew that I heard him very well.

"Wait, what?" I said a little confused. He did what? Omar is his best friend but my worst enemy. He hated me the most of all his friends even Jessica and Christian knew that. For him to tell him the truth meant everyone would know by Monday. I looked at him and he seemed to be in deep thought. I could tell he was stressing about the situation. I started to regret doing this. The last thing I wanted to do was cause division in Christian's circle of friends. I wanted him to be happy. "You could have denied it you know." I said sitting down on the bed next to him. He looked at me like I was crazy

"What? Monica we were kissing. How can I say, I'm not with her but my lips found their way to hers?" He said. We were kissing, I'll give him that but when Omar walked up he was kissing on my neck. So he was caught. I looked innocent in the whole thing. So like I said he was caught and couldn't deny it. Maybe that's why he told because even if he did lie then it wouldn't work because Omar saw him kissing me with his own two eyes. This was just too much.

"So, you wanted to deny it but you couldn't?" I asked starting to get teary eyed.

"No, Monica, don't cry." He said pulling me close. "I like you, ok." He sighed. "Look maybe even more than that, this was bound to happen. I just didn't think it would I happen this soon you know? I didn't think I would lose my boy over this." He said. then pulled me closer. "But things happen for reasons we don't understand." He said kissing me then wiped my eyes with his thumb.

"Well if he a true friend he will understand. If he doesn't want to see you happy then he had no business being your boy in the first place." I said. He nodded. I could tell he was tired si I climbed in his bed and motioned for him to come lay and hold me. I stayed wit him until he fell asleep. Then Ava and I took the bus home. hold me until he fell asleep. I had to go home I didn't want to wake him. So Ava and I took the bus home.

I don't know what to do or say to make him feel better I just know by Monday its out. Everybody would know. I wonder how bad he will fell then. I guess that's something we have to deal with when that day comes, right? I got home before Rodney and the house was clean so the only thing left to do was to cook. I laid my bags on the floor. In a way wishing I never asked him to go. Like I still hate Omar but I hate to see Christian so sad.

"Monica do you love him?" Ava asked walking into my room.

"I love everyone Ava, except Uncle Rodney." I said giggling to make light of the situation. I had thought about it and I did love Christian but I don't know if I could say I'm in love with Christian. I liked him a whole lot and I was falling. Maybe I was close to being in love but I'm not all the way there yet. Even if it were true I knew that he wasn't in love with me.

"I know you love him. I do too but are you in love with him?" She said. I looked at her in all of her six years of age. What does she know about being in love and loving someone? Sometimes this girl was just too much for me.

"I think I do, but it don't matter he just like me a lot." I said.

"What if he loves you but don't know how to say it?" She asked.

"I don't know Ava. I don't know." I made he go to my room because Rodney would be on his way soon and I hadn't had the opportunity to install her new locks. I started dinner and began thinking about what this up and coming week would entail. I have one more day till Monday comes around.