Only Cry Silent Tears

Honesty Hour

Monica

I honestly wasn't expecting something like this coming from Kayla. I thought I'd covered my bruises enough from her for her not to be suspicious. I wonder if Christian had something to do with this. Whatever the case I couldn't tell her the truth. I loved Ava too much to do that. I had to play it off so I did just that.

"Is someone beating me? Kayla have you look around me lately. Everyone hates me!"

I said turning back to do my work. That wasn't really an answer but at the same time it wasn't a lie.

"Monica you're hurting, I can see it's more than bullying. Somebody hurt you Monica. Can you just tell me?" She said. I wanted to tell Kayla so bad but the only thing I could think of was Ava. I could see Child Protective Services whisking her away and never seeing her again. Who is to say who she'll end up with? It could be someone worse than Rodney. I couldn't have that. I had to stay strong for her and if that meant that I had to hide the pain that I was enduring then so be it. She's all I have left.

"Look, I have work to do." Was all I said to her? I really didn't want to talk about it but, I knew she wasn't going to give up that easy. Kayla had good intentions and all, I knew that she was a good friend to me. An only friend to me. She always stuck up for me when I didn't have the courage to do it myself but she just didn't understand what I was going through. She still had both parents at home and they were both loving and caring and invested in her future. He problem didn't even slightly compare to mine and I just didn't want to let her in and risk her telling her parents. I just couldn't do it.

"Fine Monica, be like that but we going to have this conversation again." She said getting mad. I just put my head down. "Monica, were best friends, were supposed to be able to trust each other with our deepest darkest secrets. You're shutting me out and I don't like it. " She said before turning back to our worksheet the teacher gave us at the beginning of class and completing her work. I couldn't believe she said we were best friends. I hadn't really thought about a best friend, I had so much on my plate. She was my best friend. She could tell me everything and she did but she hit the nail on the head, I was shutting her out. But it was for my sisters own good so I didn't feel as bad.

***

I managed to go through the whole day of school considering the pain I was in. Ava don't have after school today. So I told her would pick her up. Kayla said she was going to come with me and I knew it was because she wanted to talk to me about what she asked earlier. As soon as we walked out of the door of the school you couldn't count to five before she said something.

"Monica....." She said. I just shook my head because I knew that this was going to a long trip.

"Kayla you're not going to give up are you?" I asked already knowing her answer.

"No, I'm not. Monica you're hurt, bad and I want to know who did this to you. Can you just tell me?" She said as we got off the bus and started walking up to Ava's school. I paused turning to her and sighed. I knew I wasn't going to be able to get out of this one. Kayla was too persistent. I couldn't think of an ongoing lie that I could tell that would make her believe me if this ever happened again. And after hearing her say she was my best friend I had some time to think about my relationship with Kayla. She has been the only one that has been there for me since my parents died, well besides Ava. I knew I could trust her with anything but I was afraid that with this information that she might break our friendship secrecy to what she feels would keep us safe from Rodney. I was going to take my chances on telling her.

"Fine Kayla. I wish you would just leave it." I said rolling my eyes as I felt tears build in my eyes. "Promise if I tell you..." I said growing quiet. Should I do it? I was thinking really hard about telling her this. "You have to swear to me you WILL NOT tell anybody and will let me go about things my way." I said looking at Kayla. She had a scared look in her eyes. She didn't have the slightest clue what was going on so I'm sure her mind was racing to all types of things. She's my best friend and all but I'm sure she's listened to some of the rumors that were floating around in school and probably thought I was going to confirm one or more of them. Maybe it was the one about how I'm a sex slave to someone or that I was a homeless prostitute. Or maybe that I killed my parents or something like that. People at my school were so cruel.