Recovery ☁︎ Malum

not the first

i wake up and shove my face back into the pillow, groaning because i dont want to talk to michael. i pick up my phone, and of course, there are nine messages from him.

michael: calum

michael: im sorry

michael: i didnt mean to hurt you

michael: you know i never would

michael: i love you

michael: im in the living room

michael: im making tea

michael: i have made tea

michael: the tea is getting cold

i roll my eyes and get out of bed, slipping on a pair of warm sweatpants. my feet quietly pitter patter against the ground as i open the door. i walk down the hallway and into the kitchen, seeing michael sitting on the couch, watching a tv show. i grab the lukewarm cup of tea and make my way into the living room. i sit next to michael and he smiles at me.

"did you sleep well?" he asks. i nod my head and take a sip of my tea. he sighs and grabs the tea from my hands, setting it down, and grabs my hips. michael slides me into his lap, and i stare into his shining green eyes. "im sorry, calum. i didnt mean to upset you and i shouldnt be angry over what happened between you and ashton."

i rest my forehead on his shoulder and smile, biting my lower lip. " 's okay," i mumble and he rubs my back.

"do you know if calvin is taking phyics?" michael asks me.

"i think so, why?"

"just wondering."

i raise my head from his shoulder and a smirk is playing on michaels lips.

"what?" i laugh out and he leans towards me, softly placing his lips on mine. i kiss him back with no hesitation, and he smiles into the kiss.

"im jealous of daniel if im going to be completely honest. i dont want anyone to take my baby boy away from me," michael says when he pulls away. "i dont want to lose you. again."

i frown at him, but i know what he means. "you didnt lose me, mike," i tell him and he chews on his lower lip.

"i almost did. it was my fault," he says, his voice cracking. i see tears well up in his eyes.

"no, it wasn-"

"yes it was!" michael roars, making me jump. i move off of his lap, and he lays his head in his hands. "it was me, if i just... if i was a better boyfriend, none of this would have happened. you wouldnt have tried to kill yourself, wouldnt have become depressed."

"michael, i..." i trail off, not knowing if i should tell him. i turn and face him, grabbing his large hands in mine. "that wasnt the first time i tried to kill myself."

i have plans for this story i hope they work out - MC