Taboo | Brendon Urie

Chapter 3

** Brendon's point of view **

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I was completely heart broken over Scarlett leaving me. Not only because I loved her, but because it was all my fault to begin with. I never thought me drinking was this big of an issue. Thinking back, when was the last time I really was there for her.

I couldn't get her out of my mind, the day in the rain. I saw the pain in her eyes when she looked at me. I broke her, just like her father had years ago.

Sitting on the curb with my head in my hands as I let the girl I was in love with walk away, I was to weak to go after her. I knew for that time she'd be so much better without me, yet I wasn't better without her.

I wasn't going to go after her, I was just going to wait until I was better enough to have her back. I knew I couldn't lose her just like that.

It was going to take a lot of time and I knew exactly what I had to do. No it's not as easy as singing a song to her, this is real life not a book.

There was so much to get her back, and if worse comes to worse, she finds someone better before I can get her again. It's not going to be easy.

I got home that day and immediately threw all the beer and wine out from my house, I needed to prove that drinking wasn't something I wanted to do every night. I smashed shot glasses in my drive way, my neighbors watching in shock.

I took my anger out of the piano, writing down my feelings exactly how they were. If she moves on, as long as she remembers me, remembers us, I'll be ok.

Baby we built this house
On memories
Take my picture now
Shake it til you see it
And when your fantasies
Become your legacy
Promise me a place
In your house of memories

I immediately called up my band mates, knowing exactly what we had to do. For the time being, I knew I couldn't rush into getting her back. The best thing for me to do was to get away, so that's exactly what I did.

.....

"Are you ready Brendon? Tonight's the first show of the tour?" Dallon one of my great friends and band mates asked me, giving me a pat on the back.

"Ready as I ever was before, maybe even more." I said as Kenneth my other band mate walked in.

The night Scarlett broke up with me I went all music again. I wrote a song that week, released it as soon as I could. Panic was back, and this tour was going to be amazing.

House of Memories

Every night when I preform this, Scarlett will without a doubt be on my mind. For once I won't mind anymore.

15 minutes before show time me and Dallon sat talking, our record label workers walking through the back stage screaming to make sure everything was ready.

I had been set to go on stage, my golden blazer, fitted perfectly.

"Do you still love her Bren?" Dallon asked as I fiddled with the button on my blazer. I laughed, looking him in the eye.

"I will never not love her Dallon. She has given me so much, that I won't be able to let go."

"In all honestly Brendon, tonight kick back and have fun. For gods sake, drink a beer, get laid. Right now your a single man, and until your ready to prove to Scarlett that your good enough, have a good time."

It's been itching on a year since the break up, which was ironic because she had not tried dating again since. Yet she did move to her own apartment. I watched the moving truck drive away that day, driving past my house.

The break up didn't really effect the fans of Panic! Yet they were extremely excited for the fact that we have a new album.

"Showtime guys." Management called in. I stood up, running my hand through my hair before picking the mic off the table.

We made our way through the hallways until we got behind the curtain. While the stage was still dark, Dallon and Kenneth entered the stage. Nobody noticing.

I made my way up place my mic on the stand. Lights went on and the crowd went wild. We kicked it off with Victorious.

It felt great to hear the roar of the crowd again, screaming along to lyrics that are somewhat new.

On the set list we also had songs off of PO, AFYCSO, and V&V.

The second song we preformed was Time to Dance.

For the first time in forever Scarlett had left my mind, and I was back in the mind set of who I use to be. All until House of Memories.

"This song is about uh, a girl I love." The second I said that I heard someone yell out Scarlett's name. "Yeah you got that right." I laughed as the music began.

I didn't want the fans to see the pain I was in.

......

Shows and shows of the concert went by, and I felt more away from Scarlett than I ever had before.

I needed her back. I couldn't wait anymore. Show after show. Girl after girl. Nothing could replace the feeling Scarlett gave me. Interview after damn interview. No wonder why my album was called Death of a Bachelor.

"Good show tonight Brendon." Kenneth said giving me a thumbs up as he hopped into the tour bus.

"You too." I replied.

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A small insight to how Brendon was after the break up......

This book is going to be packed with DOAB so be prepared. I also am going to post a chapter that's like answers to questions you might have so far.

Back to Scarlett during this next chapter!!!