Taboo | Brendon Urie

Chapter 4

** Scarlett's point of view **

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I couldn't stop thinking about him. No I'm fine without him. He was in my dream again last night. No I'm fine without him. I miss him. No I'm fine without him. I still love him. No I'm fine without him. He forgot about me. He's on tour now. I'm not fine without him.

There's no air to breathe anymore, I live alone. He's miles away, half a world away. I've tried being with other guys, no ones better than him. There's no sunshine without him, or good times.

It's been a year, and he's in my dreams every night. Yet he hasn't tried to come back. I've listening to his new music. I still listen to his old music.

I try to focus on the lyric, if you love me let me go, but there's no point because I can't let him go. I thought I was fine. No I'm fine without him. No it's a lie, I'm not.

If he called me, and said he missed me. I wouldn't hesitate on taking him back. He's living his dream again. He's got all the girls he needs though, he doesn't need me anymore.

I need him though. My minds a mess, every poem I've tried to write. Every song. Washed away by my thoughts that don't even make sense anymore. Everything is a blur without him.

I wonder if he stopped drinking as much. I want to talk to him again. I want him to hold me again. I want to be with him again.

This is all the stuff I want, but what about the stuff I need. I can't think straight. Maybe it's the drugs, or how much I've drank. I've drank to get away. Which is ironic, because the alcohol is the reason I'm here in the first place.

I did the first thing I could think of. I threw away all the beer and wine that I have. I flushed the pills down the toilet. I smashed all the shot glasses in my driveway. My neighbors could've thought I was crazy.

I got a job, not the one at the place my mom got me paper work for, but I'm working at a record store in town. It's a cute place, it makes me feel at home.

"Scarlett can you organize the new arrivals for me and put them on display in the window?" My co-worker, and boss, Hector asked me. I had known Hector for awhile, him being a friend from school. He had been with me through this whole thing with Brendon. It was great that he gave me this job, it's just me and him most of the time, there's this one high schooler that works part time but still.

"Of course I can." I flashed him a fake smile before grabbing the box of records. I shuffled through them, pulling out a random one. Adele. Nice choice.

I heard the ring of the bell that rang every time someone opened a door to the shop. I looked up to meet eyes with my best girl friend of many years, Haley. Her signature long, dyed purple hair is the most recognizable thing about her, along with her tan skin.

"Hey Haley, came to hang or are you looking for some new records." I asked her as I shuffled through the pile of new records, setting up Adele and Twenty One Pilots first.

"Looking for a specific record this time actually." She replied, picking the Adele record up and examining it. "Seems like this is exactly what I've been looking for."

"Perfect timing, these came in earlier today." I told her, walking with her over to check out.

She dug through her pocket to pull out as much money as she could find. I rung up the vinyl.

"That would be 20 exact please." She handed me the 20 dollar bill in her pocket.

"Need any help with the new arrivals?" She asked me with a bright smile on her face.

"I would love some actually." I laughed looking up at the clock on the wall. 6:58. I worked from noon until closing at 8. She walked over with me towards the crate of records.

We shuffled through the crate putting all of them on the stand. She pulled the last stack out while I was fixing how the other ones were lined up. Immediately out of the corner of my eye I saw her frown and put them back in the crate.

"What's wrong Haley?" I asked turning to face her whose arm was now guarding the crate from me. She shook her head no. "I'm serious Haley, what's in the box that I can't see."

I pushed her arm away in looked in to see a stack of brand new Death of a Bachelor vinyls looking back at me. Brendon in the top right corner of the picture. My heart stopped looking at the vinyl. I reached into the box, picking it up just before Hector ran in.

"Scarlett I forgot to warn you!" He stopped as soon as he saw. Haley looked at him, mouthing too late. "Oh." He said quietly.

I held the record in front of my face, looking towards Haley who had the look of fear plastered on her face.

"I already listened to it." I said quietly, receiving a gasp from Haley in return. She gave me a look that said, "really?!". "I think it's great."

"House of Memories?" She asked twirling her purple locks around her finger.

"Yeah, I heard that one too...... I'm not going to lie, it's on my playlist."

She laughed, playfully slapping my arm. "I can't believe you sometimes Scarlett." She took the records from my hand and began placing them in the window.

Hector left.

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That's how Scarlett is feeling a year later, and that's where she is now. I've posted like 3 chapters in a day but I'm like really doing good on this plot so I'm enjoying it.....