Falling Innocently

Epilogue -Past and Future Collides

Epilogue –Past and Future Collides

"When a person dies, all his actions come to an end with the exception of three: 1) Sadaqa Jaariyaa, 2) Knowledge from which benefit continues to be reaped,3) And the prayers of his pious children for him."

~Sahih al-Bukhari.

Aahil sat in the huge auditorium of Daniyaal, Imraan, Uwais and Zoya's school. The deeply cushioned chairs were so comfortable that Aahil could have fallen asleep in them, but deep sorrow settled in his heart. The chair to his right was empty, the chair that his wife was meant to be seated on, but there was nothing he could do. Allah had called her home, and he knew that she would be waiting for him at the doors of Jannah so that they could walk into Jannah together, hand in hand. However, his anxiety was peaked higher –almost as high as his heart rate had been the day his wife died in his arms.

His four lifelines were anxiously waiting to receive one of their first milestones: their report cards on their Matric year. Ever since Waliya passed away he had tried his best to keep his promise to her and love them unconditionally. He had loved them unconditionally since the minute he held them in his arms.

The principal of the school made dua for the class of matriculants and gave some inspiring speech about the fact that their result is not the end for them. Aahil agreed, but he felt the empty space in his heart, and he knew that there was only one way to ensure that it lessens. He pulled out his much read letter from Waliya and began reading it. It was torn, and had a few tear stains, but this wasn't the original copy. When he first got it, he made over five copies of the letter and put it neatly away. The one he held in his hand was his seventh torn copy. But, this was one of many letters she wrote to him. It was his most treasured letter.

"My Aahil, my darling, my love, the light in my life,

I know you are so upset with me. I am so sorry that I couldn't tell you the truth, I was a coward. But, I promise you that I love you. I always have, from the minute we had signed our Nikkah and I could see you and touch you.

I know, I was the shy little weird thing, but I loved you.

Are you upset with me? I left you all alone with our four children. I left you with such a big burden on your own. I know that our parents will help you, but...

Aahil, you will always be the love of my life. I will wait for you at the gates of Jannah, In Shaa Allah, but...

If you have to remarry because I left you alone with our children, please do. But, don't marry for the sake of our children. Marry because you want to. I will not be upset. I promise you, I can't hold it against you.

You deserve that happiness. You have always deserved happiness.

You were always the smile in my eyes, the reason I could smile even when I wanted to cry. You erased my insecurities and held me when I felt like I was the ugliest. You carried me when I couldn't walk. You hid my faults and made me look flawless. You held my hand when I couldn't walk. You guided me and loved me when I felt like I was unlovable.

I love you Aahil Khan. You are the love of my life. Always have been.

I cannot thank you enough Aahil for being the man that held my hand in the dunya. I can't wait to meet you in Jannah, In Shaa Allah. For loving me, and making me so much more patient.