The Bad Boy Saved My Life #Wattys2016

Chapter #20

Chapter #20: Goodbye My Love (Trigger Warning)

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The awkward silence was eating me alive for the rest of the ride home. My thoughts were whirling all around my mind and I couldn't comprehend anything anymore.

The trees became a blur, the road seemed darker and never ending. The continuous tapping coming from Evan's thumbs didn't bother me like they always had. I felt trapped, like the car was slowly shrinking on my body. I couldn't feel, think or breathe. I felt my heart beat beating faster than I could ever imagine and my hands were sweaty beyond comprehension.

This anxiety... this depression.

It hurts.

I didn't even realize we had pulled up in my driveway and Evan was waiting for me to get out. No 'bye', or any word of dismissal. Part of me wanted to sit for an extra minute to see if he'd say something, at least try to help me or say 'forget what just happened'. I was counting the seconds in my brain. I was counting all the bricks on the wall of my house and I was already at 75 when I realized he just wasn't going to say anything.

He'd given up, and this time, I was sure of it.

I wiped away at my aching eyes then exhaled sharply, before gripping the door handle and stepping out of the vehicle. Not a word was spoken. The tension was thick and there wasn't a peep. The loud bang of the door shutting made my heart jump and my oversized sweater felt stuffy and hot. Uncomfortable that I ripped it off right there, then sadly watched him reverse and drive away.

"I'm sorry," I cried, partially to myself and partially to Evan. "I'm so sorry!"

My whole body ached and I ran up the path and shoved the door open but hi something hard in the process. My aunt's yelp echoed in the dark house and I quietly apologized as I kicked of my black combat boots.

"Well aren't you in a rush?" she teased, brushing her black her from her eyes as she bent over to shove her boots on, not seeming phased by the fact that I had completely hit her with the door. "What's wrong dear?"

Her briefcase sat on the tiled floor next to her coat and papers with portfolios were scattered everywhere.

"You're busy, I'd rather not waste your time," I responded, chewing my nails anxiously and trying to hide my red eyes.

"No it's alright, I have a minute or two before I need to get going. What's up?" she asked.

I scoffed and turned around to face her, "Really? A minute or two? Cause that gives me a lot of time to explain how I'm feeling and what's going on. You don't have time for me, just admit it. No one does! No one cares!"

"No hunny! I care; in fact I care a lot! It's just that I need to work longer shifts since there's a third person to take care of in this home. Don't be upset!" my Aunt sighed.

"I'm just a 'person' in your home? I'm not even a daughter to you or anything? Why did you take me in?! Just to treat me like a nobody? Leave me home alone for hours straight? Leave sticky notes on the fridge every morning? Leave me an extra package of peaches for dinner? You haven't even noticed how drastically I've been losing weight and I blame it all on you! You took me in to recreate a family for me yet you just called me a 'person' in your home!" my once steady voice turned into shaky cries as I continued to rant.

I sighed, throwing my hands up in the air, my eyes watering, "It's alright though Aunt. I don't expect anything from you guys. Because I'm just a 'person', and because my parents are dead. So it really doesn't matter. Drive safely and I hope you wish to God that you don't get in a car wreck, like my dear parents did."