Best friends since high school

25.

I didn't realize that I'd fallen asleep. I wake up and check the time. It's already 10:37pm.
I look at Cass. The needles are still stuck in her arms. The clip is still on her finger.
I take her hand in mine again and rub my thumb in circles over it.
"Cass.." I whisper and gently kiss her lips.
I miss the feeling of her kissing me back.
I miss her lips being warm against mine.
I miss the feeling of having her fingers intertwined with mine.
I miss the feeling of hugging her.
I miss her voice.
Her eyes.
Her smile.
Her laugh.
Her mouth is formed into a frown now.
I can't hear her laugh.
Or her voice.
Or see her eyes.
Or have the feeling of her lips on mine.
Or the feeling of her hand holding mine.
I miss her.
"I need you to wake up, I'll never stop saying that. Until the day they cut you off of life support, I'll never stop saying that. You know why? I love you, Cass. I've loved you since that day I stood up for you. By this point.. I've forgotten how many times I'd wanted to tell you that I love you more than just a friend.. Or a best friend for that matter. I was scared. But I don't need to be scared anymore. Cass, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. And I need you to wake up. I miss your touch. Your eyes. Your lips on mine. I don't want to have to wake up and remember that you're dead. Cass, please stay. Don't give up on me. I need you to wake up. We all do." I say and stand up. "I love you Cass. Don't forget that." I say then turn and leave.

Two months later

I walk into the hospital room again. She's gone through three operations since she went into her coma. One because of more internal bleeding, one because her heart was failing, and one for an unknown reason.
I sit down beside her. She doesn't look like the Cass I know anymore. She's extremely skinny. Her lips don't have the pink tint to them anymore. She doesn't seem the same anymore.
"Cass.. It's been two months. I'm getting desperate now.. If you don't wake up soon then.. You'll die. But I'm not giving up on you. Never. I'll always wait. You're becoming extremely unhealthy at this point." I say and take her hand in mine and squeeze it gently. There was no squeeze back. There hasn't been for these past two months.
I sigh and lay her hand back down and leave the hospital room then go out to the parking lot and get in my car and slam my fists on the steering wheel. "Dammit!" I shout, frustratedly.
I should have grabbed Cass' arm before she could have left.
If I had, she'd still be awake. She'd be healthy.
I grip the steering wheel and stare at the picture of us in the snow together I have on my dash.

"Come on Max!" Cass calls over her shoulder and laughs as she jumps in a pile of snow.
I laugh and pick up a snowball then chuck it at her.
"Hey!" She shouts and picks up a snowball then throws it at me.
I back up a few paces and the snowball lands a few feet in front of me.
"Nice throw!" I laugh.
She narrows her eyes at me and folds her arms over her chest.
I laugh and walk up to her then kiss her.

I blink and look out my windshield, watching little snowflakes fall down from the sky.

Adam

I see Max leave the hospital and I get up then walk to Cass' hospital room.
"Hey, Cass.. It's Adam. I know you can't hear me but.. He needs you to wake up. We all do, actually. You've been in a coma for two months now.. He's not healthy. Or happy. When he walks into the office, when he records with us, he's not the same. He's slowly not appearing in videos anymore. He's slowly getting sadder. You have three months, Cass. Three months before they pull that plug we call life. And if you don't wake up.. If you die.. None of us know what Max will do. He loves you, Cass. He really does." I whisper and glance at her hand.
He gave her his z necklace.
"Please wake up, Cass. We all need you to wake up.. Especially Max. He's becoming extremely unhealthy." I say and get up then leave.

Cass

Adam gives me a little speech then leaves. Max needs me to wake up.. But I can't. I've tried. Multiple times.
I look at my body, laying on the hospital bed. I look dead.
I saw Max leave. I know he's angry. But he's angry with himself.
I walk out of my hospital room and look at the waiting room. Which I haven't done yet.
I'm shocked when I see all the people here.
Mom, Barney, Ross, Cory, Corey, Alesa with Mason, Nick, Tim, Adam, and.. Someone talking to my mom.
I walk over to them and listen in on their conversation.
"You can go see her if you want." My mom says quietly.
"But.. What if she wakes up? She won't know who I am. She's never met me."
"Jackson, you're her brother. You deserve to see her."
B-brother?!
"I know but.. You know she hated our dad. And I went with him.. What if she finds that out and hates me?"
"Jackson, she won't hate you. You're her brother. How could she hate you?"
He sighs and looks away.
"She's right," I mutter in his ear. He looks at me, but doesn't see me.
I smile. Just like everyone else.
"Okay I.. I'll go." He says and smiles at my mom then starts walking to my hospital room.
I follow him in and stand next to my body.
"Hey, Cass." He says, smiling.
"The first time I saw you.. You were seven years old. So you probably don't know me. But.. I do care for you. A lot. I hope you wake up so I can finally meet my sister." He says, smiling before he gets up and leaves.
I'll try.