At the End of the Day

Chapter 13 What to do

With Josh not here I have to tell him a lot when he gets back or calls. After two weeks of him not being here Peter had to take me ti the hospital. I lost the baby. It was a baby boy this time. After three weeks of Josh not calling I started to get worried. I started to wonder if some thing happened to him.
It was in the afternoon when Peter came wakking in. Clearly some thing was in his mind bothering him.
"Are you okay? Is some thing wrong Peter?"
"You might want to sit down." He had to think for a second,"Wait right here for me. I need to make a call reall quick." He walked into the kitchen and picked up the phone. Whoever he is talking to it is getting very intense. I can't hear what is being said though.
Finally he walked back into the room and sat down next to me on the couch. He sat there trying to think of the right words to say.
"Beth... Have you been on facebook in a while?"
"No. You know I don't get on that much. Why?"
"Josh.... is umm...."
"Spit it out! Josh is what? Tell me!" I know it's some thing bad I just know it. I can feel the tears threatening to run down my face.
"He's not at a cabin like he said. He's in New York with Monica....His ex girlfriend."
"How do you know that?" I was hurt but refused to believe it. Josh said he would never leave me. He loves me. "No. He can't be he would never lie to me. He loves me."
He showed me pictures of Josh kissing, holding, and smiling with Monica.
"I'm sorry. I should have told you when I suspected he was cheating..."
"You knew?!? Why? Why?!?" I burried my face in his chest and cried. He wrapped his arms around me. Trying to keep me from harm but the cold truth is it's too late. Josh, my husband, doesn't love me any more, and I know why. I couldn't give him the family he wanted and deserves.
"Is that who you were talking to?" I asked through the tears that still seemed to be streaming down my face. I feel worthless. I hate life. I hate it.
"Yes. I told him that he needs to come home and tell you what he did and promise never to do it again... He refused.... So I told him to stay and I'll tell you but if he ever comes back... I'll... I'll kill him." That got my attention. He'll kill him. Why?
'Why did you say that?" Moved and courious I asked.
"I know I did some bad things to you but I do love you, and I can't stand to see someone do you wrong like that. Even though you are married, I still love you. I always will. No matter what."
"Tell you what. Grab a bottle or two of vadka, gin or whatever you got and lets go and write a song for Josh."
"But he just cheated on you and you're still going to write a song for him? Why?"
"Some of the best songs are wrote in times like this. And besides who said it was going to be one he would love." Peter saw the wicked smile on my face and knew exactly what I was thinking. I went and grabbed my Ed Sheeran CDs to listen to for inspiration.
We got to our 'studio' which is actually just a room with wooden flooring and white walls. There is a dark blue couch, plain wooden coffee table, two rocking chairs, and a lazyboy in the room. Peter sets two glasses on the table and poures the vadka into them. Any kind of drink I could think of was there.
"So how do you want to do this?" He asked.
"Well to be honest I plan to get drunk and let it go from there. What you think?"
"Sounds like a plan."
"Here put these in." I said giving him the CDs I brought with me.
"Did you bring any smokes?" I asked looking around for them.
"Yeah a whole thing of them."
"Good light them up and lets drink."
We were there for hours drinking, smoking, and thinking. Nothing was coming though. Peter eventually layed on the couch and went to sleep. I stayed up. Still listening to the music, drinking, and smoking. I was about to give up when it came to me. The song 'The City' was playing and I grabbed a pen and paper and started writing.

You never loved me
You left me for an ex
Now I know I'll never be free
Said you could kiss my... ahem
I'll be better without ya
I'll be happier without ya
I'll be movin on without ya
But the truth is I'm gonna miss ya

Couldn't give you what you wanted
But that was no reason to loose your loyalty
We've been through a bit
Guess that meant nothin to ya
All I feel is
I'll be better without ya
I'll be happier without ya
I'll be movin on without ya
But the truth is...I still love ya